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humor: oct 29 -- BOO!

                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
Glen C. Smith writes to say
"A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything," --attributed to
Malcom X in your October 27th issue, did not originate with this fellow.
I have been using the line in my preaching for 50 years, and I didn't
originate it--I heard it from someone else, borrowed it and used it

Thanks, Glen.  I have a feeling that it was the British Christian
apologist G. K. Chesterton.  But it certainly could be much older
than that.		Nick  :-)

-------- HALLOWWENISH JOKES ---------

I want to send these out early
so you'll have a chance to use them
before it's too late!     :-)

Richard Lederer and P. C. Swanson:

	Hans and Stein were playing in their yard in Zurich
	when one of the boys accidentally swallowed a coin
	and started choking. Hans ran inside to get help, yelling
	"Mom! Dad! Come quick! There's a franc in Stein!"

	Then there was the egotistical mummy who
	was all wrapped up in himself. ....

Bunch o'Jokes Club:

	How can you tell that Doctor Victor Frankenstein
	had a good sense of humor?
		Because he kept his monster in stitches.

	If you want to deliver mail to
	skeletons, try the bony express.

Stan Kegel:
	Who is the FRANKENSTEIN'S favorite singer?
		Robert Ghoulet
	Or his favourite Canadian singer
		Robert Ghoul, Eh?

Thanks to Bob Weinman:


A man was walking home alone one night when he hears a BUMPí BUMP, BUMP
behind him. Walking faster, he looks back, making out the image of an
upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him,
BUMP ..  BUMP.. BUMP.  The man begins to run towards his home, and the
coffin bounces quickly after him, faster and faster ..BUMP, BUMPí BUMP.

He runs up to his front door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door and
rushes in, locking the door behind him. The coffin however, crashes through
his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping, BUMP, BUMPí BUMP, on the
heels of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in, his heart is
pounding as with a crash the coffin breaks down the door. The coffin starts
coming slowly towards him, the man screaming, reaches for something,
anything, .. but all he can find is a box of cough droops!  Desperate, he
throws the cough drops at the coffin.

And, of course, the coffin stops!

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              humor                            1.94.3+ 9908