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humor: aug 21 -- Position Available Immediately

                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List

 Position Available Immediately
 [Dark Side Consulting Group]:
 	Apprentice Sith Lord

 An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting
 Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord.  The ideal candidate for this
 position would like galactic travel and possess a complete
 understanding of, and competence with the Force, or demonstrate
 a willingness to learn. Duties include: Performing competitive
 intelligence, hands-on intervention in support of the Sith
 Master's planning initiatives, ability to travel the galaxy
 widely, and operating a variety of laser-powered hand weapons
 and high-powered space/air vehicles. Some slaying of enemies of
 the Dark Side is also required, which may be performed using the
 Force or hand weapons. Qualified applicants would possess good
 communications skills (especially when speaking in menacing
 whispers), and would be action-oriented individuals and risk
 takers.  A background in study of the Force (light side or dark)
 is desirable, as would typically be acquired by those with
 advanced degrees or significant course work in Jedi Arts from
 the University of Coruscant.

 Applicants should also be familiar with holographic projection
 equipment, possess a valid galactic pilot's license (for all
 classes of ships), and must show a willingness to give in to
 their hate. A proven track record of using fear and/or Jedi mind
 tricks to control others is also desirable, as is the ability to
 speak several galactic languages. Ideal candidates for this
 position would also have no children or other living relatives
 who are strong in the ways of the Force. (A new hire would be
 given several weeks to meet this requirement.)

 Compensation for this position is commensurate with experience,
 and is extremely competitive for this field. Benefits include a
 generous severance package, a company starship, and a dark-colored
 clothing allowance.  The Apprentice Sith Lord reports to and works
 closely with the Sith Master, and experience in such small,
 team-based organizations is vital to the success of the master's
 plans. Discretion is also highly valued, as is the ability to see
 the future before it happens. Applications will be accepted until
 the end of July.  Transmit them to jobs@darkside.com.


 Dark Side CG (tm) is a small and highly-focused organization, founded
 a long time ago in a galaxy far away.   Our core values reflect the
 short-term advantages of harnessing hatred for institutional power
 and the long-term desirability of controlling the galaxy. We provide
 direction to our partner organizations through knowledge management,
 incident control and our rapid on-site intervention expertise. Our
 partnered organizations include the Imperial Senate, the Hutt
 Gambling Collective of Tattooine, and many large software companies.

 Dark Side CG (tm) is a wholly owned subsidiary of Microsoft.

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	   offered by John Hedtke
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              humor                            1.94.3+ 9908