[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]
Joke: June 12 - What We Learned From The Movies
_ _ __
(_) ___ | | _____ ___ / _|
| |/ _ \| |/ / _ \ / _ \| |_
| | (_) | < __/ | (_) | _|
_/ |\___/|_|\_\___| \___/|_|
|__/
_ _ _
| |_| |__ ___ __| | __ _ _ _
| __| '_ \ / _ \ / _` |/ _` | | | |
| |_| | | | __/ | (_| | (_| | |_| |
\__|_| |_|\___| \__,_|\__,_|\__, |
|___/sm
http://www.joke-of-the-day.com
"The World's Largest Daily Joke List"
#########################################################
# To get a Great Joke everyday, send a blank e-mail to: #
# #
# Join@joke-of-the-day.com #
# mailto:JOIN@joke-of-the-day.com #
# #
# or go here #
# http://a.joke-of-the-day.com/X?/1192-3886899/SUB #
# #
# FREE FREE FREE FREE #
# #
#########################################################
==================================================================
To ADVERTISE, reaching more than 5,000,000 people per month
E-mail us at: SPONSOR@joke-of-the-day.com
==================================================================
TODAY's JOKE
June 12, 1998
====================
RESULTS:
Yesterday's Viagra Theme Songs did great. Thanks for all of your nice
comments. We received thousands of new Viagra jokes and some new theme
songs to add from all of our members.
We'll put them together for you all to see soon.
A 5.8 from Joke-Of-The-Day.com members.
------------------------------------------------------------------
THINKING ABOUT A TECHNICAL CAREER?
***********************************
ITT Technical Institutes offers a practical, hands-on education
that can help today's students begin to prepare for some of tomorrow's
careers.
FOR FREE INFORMATION, Click Below:
http://a.joke-of-the-day.com/X?/1192-3886899/ITTT
------------------------------------------------------------------
Rate the Joke below! and *** FORWARD TO FRIENDS ***
Spread The Fun
WHAT WE HAVE LEARNED FROM THE MOVIES
- Submitted by Clifford Fraser
-------------------------------------------------
Imagine you lived a remote life but had sattelite television and
were able to see movies all of the time. How misguided would your
life be? Below are a few of the things that you would have learned.
1 .All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach
up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level
on the man lying beside her.
2 If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a
passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick
of French Bread.
4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while
SCUBA diving
5. During all police investigations it will be necessary to
visit a strip club at least once.
6. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris
8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it
will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
9. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the
communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
10. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate
any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
11. It is always possible to park directly outside the
building you are visiting.
12. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large
red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
13. When they are alone, all non-native English speakers prefer
to speak English to each other.
14. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you
take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over.
It will always be the exact fare.
15. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR. Thanks
*******************************************************************
G E T S O M E T E C H N I C A L T R A I N I N G
ITT Technical Institutes offers a practical, hands-on education that
can help today's students begin to prepare for some of tomorrow's
careers. It is believed that ITT Technical Institutes now graduate
more electronics engineering technicians and computer-aided drafters
than any other private technical system in the U.S. Over 60 campuses
nationwide.
Click here. http://a.joke-of-the-day.com/X?/1192-3886899/ITTB
to find out how ITT Tech can help you.
*******************************************************************
--------------
RATE THE JOKE: From 1 - 7 (1 = Lousy, 7 = Hilarious)
--------------
If you received this e-mail directly from
Joke-of-the-day then just hit "REPLY" and type your
rating (1 - 7) in the message and send it to us.
IF THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN FORWARDED to you, then send
e-mail to jokes@joke-of-the-day.com with rating
in body of the message. Results will be posted tomorrow
You will also be automatically subscribed to the list
-------------
SUBSCRIBE join@joke-of-the-day.com 100% FREE
------------- or better yet, subscribe through our website
and tell us what kind of jokes you like
http://a.joke-of-the-day.com/X?/1192-3886899/SUB
-------------
NOTICE You will never receive this e-mail unsolicited from
------------- JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com. We are a subscription service only.
If you have received this and have not subscribed, then
someone had either forwarded you the message or has
subscribed you.
-------------
UNSUBSCRIBE But if for any reason you do not wish to be notified of future
------------- programs, click here:
http://a.joke-of-the-day.com/X?/1192-3886899/OPTOUT
and we will remove your name from our list.
-------------
QUESTIONS Info@joke-of-the-day.com
-------------
-------------
SUBMIT A JOKE SubmitJoke@joke-of-the-day.com
------------- We will list your name, unless otherwise instructed
We do not accept copyrighted material. All
Jokes are either written by us
or are believed to be in the public domain. Thank You.
Copyright 1998 JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com / TWT. All Rights reserved
Permission is granted to for noncommercial reprinting or distribution of
Joke-of-the-Day's Jokes as long as this full copyright notice is included
including the subscription information below.
TO GET A JOKE EVERYDAY, E-mail us at join@joke-of-the-day.com