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humor 2000: Three Jokes
Nick's G-Rated Humor List
NICK PLANS TO SEND OUT SEVERAL EMAILINGS
IN THE NEXT FEW HOURS -- AND THEN YOU WILL
NOT RECEIVE ANY MORE UNTIL TUESDAY 2/22/00.
Cathy puts her three cents into the homograph parade...
The rebel always wanted to
rebel against all authority.
If he didn't resign the incorrectly signed
paperwork, he would be forced to resign.
The advocate was called to advocate on behalf
of the defendant.
Thanks, Cathy!! I think that the "resign"
one certainly shows different word origins,
but I like the other ones, also.
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his expensive wool vest and said,
"Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression.
I was down to my last nickel."
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day
polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the
apple for ten cents."
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples.
I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm
for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end
of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $9.80."
"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
\ _/ Carpe Denim - Jeans For Fish \_ /
An elderly fisherman wrote the following to a mail order house: "Please
send me one of those gasoline engines for my boat you show on page 438, and
if it's any good, I'll send you a check."
In a short time he received the following reply: "Please send check. If
it's any good, we'll send the engine."
\ / Why do psychics have to \ /
\ _/ ask you for your name? \_ /
Giving a man his physical, a doctor
noticed several dark, ugly bruises on
his shins, so he asked, "Do you play
hockey, soccer, or any physical sport?"
"Not at all. I just play bridge with my wife."
_ _____________________________________ _
/ )| Thanks to Thomas S. Ellsworth |( \
/ / | "Good Clean Fun" | \ \
_( (_ | http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________________( \_|</ /)))
(\\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////)
\ / If it weren't for electricity \ /
\ _/ we'd all be watching television \_ /
/ / by candlelight. - George Gobel \ \
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humor 1.94.3 9908