humor 2000: A Poem: I Don't Wanna!

[Nick Brown <nbrown@calpoly.edu>]

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I DON'T WANNA    ~~Author Unknown~~

I don't wanna do the dishes
I don't wanna do the wash
I sprinkled clothes a week ago
And now my iron is lost!!

I don't wanna rattle pots
I don't wanna rattle pans
I see the mail light flashin'
I wanna chat with friends!!

Oh the tables need some dustin'
and the floor could sure be mopped
But I know if I get started
there'll be no place to stop

The closets are so full
things are falling off the shelves
I wish for cleaning fairies
and magic little elves.

They could sprinkle fairy dust
and twitch their little nose
The windows would be sparkling
I would have no dirty clothes

Oh I know that I'm just dreamin'
My head is in the sky
I must cook that meat that's greying
and bake that apple pie

The Hubby needs a bath
and the doggy needs attention
Oh.. the other way around, I mean
My brain is in suspension

I am runnin' round in circles
I am gettin' nothin' done,
I keep thinking of the Web
I am missing all the fun!!!

Well, I know I'm not addicted
though I hear that all the time
But I guess this stuff can wait on me
Cause Today I'll Be On Line!!!



$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
 The $64,000.00 Question
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question.  The
night before the big question, he told the M.C. that he desired a question
on American History.

The big night had arrived.  Bob made his way on stage in front of the
studio and TV audience.  He had become the talk of the week.  He was the
best guest this show had ever seen.  The M.C. stepped up to the mic.

"Bob, you have chosen American History as your final question.  You know
that if you correctly answer this question, you will walk away $64,000
dollars richer.  Are you ready?"

Bob nodded with a cocky confidence ----
the crowd went nuts.  He hadn't missed a question all week.

"Bob, your question on American History is a two-part question.  As you
know, you may answer either part first.  As a rule, the second half of the
question is always easier.  Which part would you like to take a stab at
first?"

Bob was now becoming more noticeably nervous.  He couldn't believe it, but
he was drawing a blank. American History was his easiest subject, but he
played it safe.

"I'll try the easier part first."

The M.C. nodded approvingly.  "Here we go Bob.  I will ask you the second
half first, then the first half."

The audience silenced with gross anticipation......

"Bob, here is your question:  And in what year did it happen??"


------------------------------------
Why a Kitten is Better Than a Baby
------------------------------------

**Veterinarians have evening hours.

**Your kitten won't be able to disturb the whole movie with its crying.
Hey, you don't even have to take the kitten with you, and if you don't, you
don't even have to worry about whether or not the  sitter is available
tonight.

**Your kitten won't grow out of those cute but expensive clothes within
three months.

**Kittens look cute if they haven't had a bath in a month.

**You probably don't have to lie awake nights wondering how you're going to
finance your kitten's college education.

**No one will question your abilities to function normally at your job when
they hear you just got a kitten.

**You only have to change the litter box once a day.


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              humor                            1.94.3 9908
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