humor 2000: Advertising Lingo

[Nick Brown <nbrown@calpoly.edu>]

=======================================================================
                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
=======================================================================


	NICK PLANS TO SEND OUT SEVERAL EMAILINGS
	IN THE NEXT FEW HOURS -- AND THEN YOU WILL
	NOT RECEIVE ANY MORE UNTIL TUESDAY 2/22/00.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
  Today's Anagram:    A cent tip == Pittance
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

TRANSLATIONS OF ADVERTISING LINGO

"A number of different approaches are being tried."
(We are still grasping at straws.)

"Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured."
(We are so far behind schedule the customer should
be happy just to get it delivered.)

"Test results were extremely gratifying."
(We were so surprised that the stupid thing worked.)

"The entire concept will have to be abandoned."
(The only person who understood the thing, quit.)

"We'll look into it."
(Forget it! We have enough problems for now.)

"Please read and initial."
(Let's spread the responsibility around for the mistakes.)

"Rugged."
(Too heavy to lift!)

"Lightweight."
(Lighter than rugged.)

"Energy saving."
(When the power switch is off.)


		Thanks to -----
             _  _____________________________________  _
            / )|        Thomas S. Ellsworth          |( \
           / / |        tellswor@slonet.org          | \ \
         _( (_ |   http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor   | _) )_
        (((\ \>|_/ )_____________________________( \_|</ /)))
         \\\\ \_/ /                               \ \_/ ////
          \      /  A verbal contract isn't worth  \      /
           \   _/     the paper it's written on.    \_   /
           /  /                                       \  \
 =======================================================================
 ARCHIVES OF PAST ISSUES: http://www.NicksHumor.net/archive
 =======================================================================
 Thanks for telling your friends about this humor list.
 Send G-Rated submissions to: submit@NicksHumor.net
-=======================================================================
 SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE online: http://www.nickshumor.net/subscribe.html
=======================================================================
 To subscribe, unsubscribe or change to digest version of this list
 send an empty email message to:  info@nickshumor.net
=======================================================================
 To report trouble with list send to: help@NicksHumor.net
=======================================================================
              humor                            1.94.3 9908
=======================================================================