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humor 2000: Hospital Hit Parade
Nick's G-Rated Humor List
THANKS TO BILL'S PUNCH LINE
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SONGS FROM THE HOSPITAL HIT PARADE
============== From Barbara A Bakie
"Gonna Take a Sentimental Gurney"
"The Staphs and Streps Forever"
"It's Spleen a Long, Long Time"
"It Had to Be Flu"
"On the Bonny Banks of Glaucoma"
"I'll be Sewing You"
"Red Cells in the Sunset"
"My Melancolicky Baby"
"From Here to Maternity"
"Old Man's Liver"
"I've Grown Accustomed to Her Brace"
"The Girl From Emphysema"
From: Dave Campbell <Dave.Campbell@mail.sprint.com>
"You've ruined my film projector!" cried Tom,
bellowing and howelling.
From: DAB <firstname.lastname@example.org>
"Waiter! This entree is tasteless,"
Tom said blandly.
From: Barbara A Bakie
In the early 1700s, the captain of a Spanish pirate ship was very
proud of his mongrel pet for its ability to bark once for "Si," and
twice for "No." After being captured by a British commander, the dog
was taught the same trick in English. He thereby became . . . the
world's first "Si" and "Aye" dog! (By Robert W. Leisure)
This executive was interviewing a nervous young woman
for a position in his company. He wanted to find out
something about her personality so he asked, "If you
could have a conversation with someone, living or dead,
who would it be?"
"I'd choose the one who was living," she replied.
Then there was the quarry owner who was arrested
for overcharging. He was taking too much for granite.
From Norm Wakefield
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