humor 2000: English System Measurements & Conversions

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

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   Useful English System Measurements & Conversions:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Ratio of an igloo's circumference
to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

Time between slipping on a peel and
smacking the pavement:  bananosecond

Exactly 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical
tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

One millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope

Speed of a tortoise breaking
the sound barrier: Mach Turtle

Time it takes to sail 220 yards
at 1 nautical mile per hour: knot-furlong

Exactly 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer: 1 lite year

Precisely 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Sterling

Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

1000 aches: 1 megahurtz

Exactly 453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake

Given the old adage "a journey of a thousand
miles begins with a single step," the first
step of a one-mile journey: 1 Milwaukee

1 million microphones: 1 megaphone

1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles

365.25 days: 1 unicycle

2200 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds

10 cards: 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton

1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche

1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin

1 million billion picolos: 1 gigolo

10 rations: 1 decoration

100 rations: 1 C-ration

10 millipedes: 1 centipede

10 monologs: 5 dialogs

5 dialogs: 1 decalog

2 monograms: 1 diagram

8 nickels: 2 paradigms

2 wharves: 1 paradox


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