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humor: oct 14 -- Flour, Water, and DejaVu
Nick's G-Rated Humor List
Ralph J reminds me that you know you are from Michigan if....
* You know how to spell [AND PRONOUNCE] Schuylkill. :-)
From: "bunch o'jokes club" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to
Australia." His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat.
What are you going to do for your Twenty-Fifth Anniversary?"
The first guy replies, "I'm going to go back and get her."
How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue ...
and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the
glue go? --Rita Rudner
"We are going to continue having these meetings, every day,
until I find out why no work is getting done."
Is it possible to have deja vu
and amnesia at the same time?
Yes, it is the feeling that you
have forgotten this before.
ONLY IN AMERICA
A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy,
but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
We're the country that has more food to eat than any other country
in the world and more diets to keep us from eating it.
We yell for the Government to balance the budget,
then take the last dime we have to make the down
payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off.
We demand speed laws that will stop fast driving, then
won't buy a car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour.
We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National
Leagues but mumble through half the words in the "Star Spangled Banner".
We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer,
then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.
We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild.
We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town
where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm.
We get upset we're spending over
a billion dollars for education,
but spend three billion dollars
a year for cigarettes.
In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when we're
out at the game, the mall or on the lake, we talk about business.
We're supposed to be the most civilized nation on earth,
but we still deliver payrolls in armored cars.
We have more experts on marriage than any other country
in the world and still have more divorces.
From "Bill's Punch Line" at email@example.com
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humor 1.94.3+ 9908