humor: aug 11 -- You Know You're From Boston...

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

=======================================================================
                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
=======================================================================

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM BOSTON IF....

1. You think of Philadelphia as the Midwest.

2. You think it's your God-given right to cut someone off in traffic.

3. You think there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's)

4. You think three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heatwave.

5. All your pets are named after Celtics or Bruins.

6. You refer to 6 inches of snow as "a dusting"

7. Just hearing the words "New York" puts you in an angry mood.

8. You don't think you have an attitude.

9. You always 'hang a left' as soon as the light turns green,
and oncoming traffic always expects it.  [Interesting.  In Pennsylfania,
this is called the "Pittsburgh Left Turn" -- but only 80% of the traffic
expects it!!]

10. Everything in town is "a five minute walk".

11. When out of town, you think the natives of the area are all whacked.

12. You still can't bear to watch highlights from game six
of the 1986 World Series.

13. You have no idea what the word compromise means.

14. You believe using your turn signal is a sign of weakness

15. You don't realize that you walk and talk
twice as fast as everyone else.
16. You're neurotic, pessimistic & stubborn.

17. You think if someone is nice to you, they must want
something or are from out of town.

18. Your favorite adjective is "wicked".

19. You think 63 degree ocean water is warm.

20. You think the Kennedy's are misunderstood.

===========================================

WHEN WE SAY/WE MEAN...
1.    Bizah=odd
2.    Flahwiz=roses, etc.
3.    Hahpahst= minutes after the hour
4.    Hahwahya?=how are you?
5.    Khakis=what we staht the cah with
6.    Pissah=superb
7.    Retahded=silly
8.    Shewah=of course
9.    Wikkid=extremely
10.   Yiz=you, plural
11.   Popcahn=popular snack

HOW WE'LL KNOW YOU WEREN'T BON HEAH:
1.    You wear a Harvard sweatshirt.
2.    You ask directions to "Cheers"
3.    You order a grinder and a soda.
4.    You follow soccer.
5.    You eat at Durgin Park.
6.    You pronounce it "Worchester" or Glouchester"
7.    You call it "COPELY" square.

DEFINITIONS:
1. Frappes have ice cream; milk shakes don't
2. If it's fizzy and flavored, it's tonic. Soda is club soda.
   Pop is dad.  When we mean tonic WATER, we say tonic WATER.
3. Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish.
4. It's not a water fountain, it's a bubblah.
5. It's not a trash can, it's a barrel
6. It's not a shopping cart, it's a carriage.
7. It's not a purse, it's a pockabook.
8. Brown bread comes in a can.  You open both ends,
   push it out, heat it and eat it with baked beans.
       ]NOT recommended for tourists!!]
9. They're not franks, they're haht dahgs.
   Franks are money in France.

			 --- thanks to Louisa K
 =======================================================================
 ARCHIVES OF PAST ISSUES: http://www.NicksHumor.net/archive
 =======================================================================
 Thanks for telling your friends about this humor list.
 Send G-Rated submissions to: submit@NicksHumor.net
=======================================================================
TO SUBSCRIBE:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: subscribe
 Do not type any other words.
=======================================================================
TO UNSUBSCRIBE:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: unsubscribe
 Do not type any other words.
=======================================================================
TO SWITCH TO DIGEST VERSION OF LIST:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: set digest
 Do not type any other words.
 You will receive 1 message per week with all jokes from previous week.
=======================================================================
 To report trouble with list send to: help@NicksHumor.net
=======================================================================
                      humor                            1.94.3+
=======================================================================