humor: jul 18 -- Klingon Programmers

["Tim Treaster" <tim@bytewaresys.com>]

=======================================================================
                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
=======================================================================
      ====================================
	NICK BROWN IS STILL ON VACATION.
	PLEASE DON'T SEND HIM EMAIL YET!
			Thanks ......
      ====================================


TOP 12 THINGS LIKELY TO BE OVERHEARD
IF YOU HAD A KLINGON PROGRAMMER ...
(apologies to non-Star Trek fans -- if any)

12. "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"

11. "This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual
Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!"

10. "You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've
read it in the original Klingon."

9. "Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent
when I indent your skull!"

8. "What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not
make software 'releases.' Our software 'escapes'
leaving a bloody trail of designers
and quality assurance people in its wake."

7. "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' --
they have 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."

6. "Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software
does not coddle the weak."

5. "I have challenged the entire quality assurance
team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us
again."

4. "A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!"

3. "By filing this PTR you have challenged the honor
of my family. Prepare to die!"

2. "You question the worthiness of my code? I should
kill you where you stand!"

1. "Our users will know fear and cower before our software.
Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!"

================ !!!!!!!!!!! =================
        Courtesy of Wayne Johnson
Thanks to Randy Walker <walkers4@pacbell.net>
who mails out Funny Bone <funnyguy@spunge.org>
================ !!!!!!!!!!! =================


 =======================================================================
 ARCHIVES OF PAST ISSUES: http://www.NicksHumor.net/archive
 =======================================================================
 Thanks for telling your friends about this humor list.
 Send G-Rated submissions to: submit@NicksHumor.net
=======================================================================
TO SUBSCRIBE:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: subscribe
 Do not type any other words.
=======================================================================
TO UNSUBSCRIBE:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: unsubscribe
 Do not type any other words.
=======================================================================
TO SWITCH TO DIGEST VERSION OF LIST:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: set digest
 Do not type any other words.
 You will receive 1 message per week with all jokes from previous week.
=======================================================================
 To report trouble with list send to: help@NicksHumor.net
=======================================================================
                      humor                            1.94.3+
=======================================================================