humor: jul 17 -- REBUS LIST 04

["Tim Treaster" <tim@bytewaresys.com>]

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Ten more rebus puzzles!
For example, BBBBBBBBBBBB
represents the phrase "making a beeline".

So if you are in the mood, try these
[viewed in a fixed-width font]:


                on
1.  lap  lap   lap


2.  L NCH    L NCH


3. IMPROVEMENT
   IMPROVEMENT

   IMPROVEMENT
   IMPROVEMENT


4. be broad am


5. M CE   M CE    M CE


6. B ILL ED


7. THOUGHTAN


8. TROUBL


9. N E P A I N C K


10.   ERROR
      ERROR


_________________________________________________________

THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES

Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they
are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
read-outs so you know exactly when they are going to go off.

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition -
even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the
mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

_________________________________________________________



1.  on the last lap

2.  Take you out to lunck

3.  Room for improvement

4.  broak in the beam

5.  three blind mice
    (I like this one!!!)

6.  sick in bed

7.  an afterthought

8.  no end of trouble

9.  pain in the neck

10. one mistake on top of another


-----------------------------------------------------------

What's a defense attorney to do?
A witness was testifying before the
court, and the prosecuting attorney
was asking him questions.

"You witnessed the robbery, sir?"
"Yes"
"What was stolen?"
"Two televisions"
"Did you see the thieves?"
"Yes"
"Could you identify them?"
"Yes"
"Are the two men who stole the
 televisions in this courtroom?"

At this point, the two defendants
raised their hands.

Found posted in a humor newsgroup (rec.humor.funny.reruns)
Submitted there by Derry Lyons (derry@u.washington.edu)
Sent by Thomas S. Ellsworth to his humor group ...


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