humor: jul 25 -- Sunday Stuff

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

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A panda walks into an old western saloon and growls "Gimme some food!"
After wolfing down (panda-ing down?) the food, he draws his gun, empties it
by firing six shots into the ceiling, and heads for the door.

The bartender hollers, "Hey!  You you haven't paid me for the food!  All
you did was shoot holes in the ceiling!"

The panda replies, "I'm a 'panda'. Look it up!"  And away he goes.

The bartender looks up the word panda in the dictionary:
	"Large furry marsupial
	 of the Asian continent.
	 Eats shoots and leaves."




Just in case you need a hint:
"Eats, shoots, and leaves!!"


===========================================
 Get "charged up" with this SERIOUS STUFF!

 For all the negative things we have
 to say to ourselves, God has a
 positive answer for it.

 You say:  "It's impossible"
 God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)

 You say:  "I'm too tired"
 God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)

 You say: "Nobody really loves me"
 God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 13:34)

 You say: "I can't go on"
 God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm (1:15)

 You say: "I can't figure things out"
 God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)

 You say: "I can't do it"
 God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)

 You say: "I'm not able"
 God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)

 You say:  "It's not worth it"
 God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28)

 You say:  "I can't forgive myself"
 God says:  I FORGIVE YOU (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

 You say:  "I can't manage"
 God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

 You say:  "I'm afraid"
 God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)

 You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
 God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)

 You say: "I don't have enough faith"
 God says: I've given everyone a measure of faith (Romans 12:3)

 You say:  "I'm not smart enough"
 God says:  I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)

 You say:  "I feel all alone"
 God says:  I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)
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                      humor                            1.94.3+
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