humor: jul 24 -- From Ellsworth

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

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	YES, NICK IS BACK FROM VACATION!
	  I won't tell you about it,
	    you'd only be jealous.

		Thanks to Tim for
		  carrying on!


Forwarded from Aiken's Drums.
doughels@erols.com with Subject: Subscribe
------------------------------------------

A policeman arrives at the scene of an accident,
in which a car smashed into a tree. The cop rushes
over to the vehicle and asks the driver, "Are you
seriously hurt?"

"How do I know?" the driver responds.
"I'm not a lawyer!



From: Jonathan Hayward (nimbus@ameritech.net)
---------------------------------------------

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer.
He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his
performance simply didn't improve.

Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician
just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given
help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks,
and make him a drummer."

A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if
he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and
make him a conductor."


-----------------------------------
      Emailed from PixDaily
  PixDaily-subscribe@onelist.com
-----------------------------------

If you receive a newspaper
with an article in it headlined
"Budweiser Frog Dies", DO NOT READ IT.

Apparently it is a new sort of virus; the "Newspaper Virus". When this
article is read, it will cause the printed characters on the newspaper to
'crash', that is, come unglued, and fall in a big heap in your lap. This
particular virus is very nasty in that it will re-infect any magazine or
newspaper that you read
afterwards, causing THEIR print to become unusable.

As well, any computer screen viewed with infected eyes will have all pixels
on it fall in a pile onto the keyboard, rendering it inoperative. The New
York Times this morning confirmed the existence of this virus. Microsoft
and Reuters are now investigating it.

THIS VIRUS IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.
THE UNITED STATES OPTICAL SOCIETY
HAS ADVISED ALL READERS TO WEAR
OBALT-SAMARIUM TINTED GLASSES
BEFORE READING A NEWSPAPER.

PLEASE DO NOT PASS THIS MESSAGE USING E-MAIL,
BUT PRINT IT OFF AND MAIL IT INSIDE A BROWN
ENVELOPE TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN, USING
THE U.S. POSTAL SERVICE!


             _  _____________________________________  _
            / )|    Thanks to Thomas S. Ellsworth    |( \
           / / |           "Good Clean Fun"          | \ \
         _( (_ |   http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor   | _) )_
        (((\ \>|_/ )_____________________________( \_|</ /)))
        (\\\\ \_/ /                               \ \_/ ////)
         \       /                                 \       /
          \    _/                                   \_    /
          /   /                                       \   \


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                      humor                            1.94.3+
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