humor: may 04 -- BOOKS

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

=======================================================================
                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
=======================================================================


From: Computer Jokes <JOKES@why-not.com>

Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device,
otherwise known as the BOOK.

It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric
circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on.
It's so easy to use even a child can operate it.  Just lift its cover.
Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an
armchair by the fire -- yet it is powerful enough to hold as much
information as a CD-ROM disk.

Here's how it works:  each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered
sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits
of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device
called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. By using
both sides of each sheet, manufacturers are able to cut costs in half.

Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into
your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. The BOOK
may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. The "Browse"
feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or
backward as you wish. Most come with an "index" feature, which pinpoints
the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open the BOOK to the exact
place you left it in a previous session -- even if the BOOK has been
closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKmark
can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.

Portable, durable and affordable, the BOOK is the entertainment wave of
the future, and many new titles are expected soon, due to  the surge in
popularity of its programming tool, the Portable Erasable-Nib Cryptic
Intercommunication Language Stylus.....

  ()  ()  ()  ()  ()  ()  ()  ()  ()  ()  ()  ()  ()  ()  ()  ()


  THE MUST READ BOOK LIST:

  The Twelfth Month: Dee Sember
  Rules For Living: Sharon Sharalike
  Dull Razor: Nick Shaving
  Weekend In Hong Kong: Rick Shaw

  Do It Yourself: Tyrone Shoelaces
  May Flowers: April Showers
  Webster's Words: Dick Shunnary
  Take a Break!: Colin Sick

  He Disappeared!: Otto Sight
  Ecclesiastical Infractions: Cardinal Sin
  Prayers For Children: Cindy Skool
  Great Tennis Matches: Davis Skupp

  Fingerplay: Jacob Sladder
  Wouldn't You Know It: Murphy Slaw
  Look Younger: Fay Slift
  Foot Coverings: Susan Socks

  Shhh!: Danielle Soloud
  Tailoring: Serge Soote
  Many Are Cold, But Few Are Frozen: Minnie Sota
  Teenagers Of The '50's: Bobbie Sox

  I Work with Diamonds: Jules Sparkle
  Small Vegetables: Russell Sprout
  Gangway!: Hedda Steam
  How to Tour the Prison: Robin Steele
  History of the Soviet Union: Perry Stroika

 =======================================================================
 ARCHIVES OF PAST ISSUES: http://www.NicksHumor.net/archive
 =======================================================================
 Thanks for telling your friends about this humor list.
 Send G-Rated submissions to: submit@NicksHumor.net
=======================================================================
TO SUBSCRIBE:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: subscribe
 Do not type any other words.
=======================================================================
TO UNSUBSCRIBE:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: unsubscribe
 Do not type any other words.
=======================================================================
TO SWITCH TO DIGEST VERSION OF LIST:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: set digest
 Do not type any other words.
 You will receive 1 message per week with all jokes from previous week.
=======================================================================
 To report trouble with list send to: help@NicksHumor.net
=======================================================================
                      humor                            1.94.3+
=======================================================================