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humor: may 23 -- Sunday Stuff
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Nick's G-Rated Humor List
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THE CONFUSING SPELLING BEE
If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough
If OUGH stands for O as in Dough
If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis (HUH????)
If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbour
If TTE stands for T as in Gazette
If EAU stands for O as in Plateau
The right way to spell POTATO should be: GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU
[forwarded by J.R.to: "Mikey's Funnies"
Mikeys-Funnies@youthspecialties.com]
PUN PAIR
The other day I went to the bookstore to buy a dictionary.
The clerk showed me a really cheap one. I couldn't find the
words to thank him. I did, however, buy a thesaurus. I
thought that was very nice, pleasurable, agreeable.
Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled
from the Garden of Eden?
A. They were really put out.
Q. What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve
did after they were kicked out?
A. They really raised Cain.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children
as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Promises Kept
============= .... Serious Stuff!
God never promised
In whatever we do
That we'd always be happy
And healthy too.
He never said life
Would be free of pain
But He said He'd be there
Time and again
To bolster our spirits,
To lighten our way,
To give strength and courage
Day after day.
To make us feel worthy,
To give inner peace
And from life's tensions
A loving release.
Author Unknown
"My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness."
====================== 2Cor. 12:7-10 ==========
There was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment
me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he
said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect
in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my
weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for
Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in
persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
====================== Rom. 8:35-39 ==========
Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger
or sword? .... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through
him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither
angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able
to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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