humor: jun 01 -- Oh, The Bagpipe!

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

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Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye went to study at an English
university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other
students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit
him.

"And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.

"Mother," he replied, "they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that
side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't stop. The one on the
other side screams and screams all night."

"Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English
neighbors?"

"Well, I just ignore them, staying here quietly, playing my bagpipes."

==============================
Thanks to John Tiffin for
sending these Bagpipe Jokes:

If you took all the bagpipers in the world and laid them
end to end -- it would be a good idea.

Did you hear the one about the bagpiper who parked his car
with the windows open, forgetting that he had left his bagpipes
in the back seat? He rushed back as soon as he realized it, but
it was too late - someone had already put another set of bagpipes
in the car.


Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A. No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe.

Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and
   not hit any of the ducks.

Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

Q. What's the difference between a lawn mower and a bagpipe?
A. You can tune the lawn mower.

Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions: an
    in-tune bagpipe player, an out-of-tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus?
A. The out-of-tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you have been
    hallucinating.

Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe?
A. Add vibrato.

Q. What's the definition of a gentleman?
A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.

Q. What's the range of a bagpipe?
A. Twenty yards if you have a good arm.

Q. Why are bagpipers fingers like lightning?
A. They rarely strike the same spot twice.

Q. How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?
A. Someone is blowing into it.

.... and Nick's personal favorite....

Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A. To get away from the sound.
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                      humor                            1.94.3+
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