humor: may 31 -- Way back in the old days .....

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

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Thanks to Lovisa Kamenoff
for forwarding this from
a Washington Post Report in
which readers were asked to
tell Gen-Xers how much harder
"we" had it in the "old days."

Second Runner-Up:
====================
In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot.
In the winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire
for traction. 			(Bill Flavin, Alexandria)

First Runner-Up:
===================
In my day we didn't have MTV or in-line skates, or any of
that stuff. No, it was 45's and regular old metal-wheeled
roller skates, and the 45's always skipped, so to get them
to play right you'd weigh the needle down with something
like quarters, which we never had because our allowances
were too small, so we'd use our skate keys instead and end
up forgetting they were taped to the record player arm so
that we couldn't adjust our skates, which didn't really
matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you if
you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real
pebbles on them, not like today.  (Russell Beland, Springfield)

And the winner:
==================
In my day, we didn't have no rocks. We had to go down to
the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our
heads. 				(Barry Blyveis, Columbia)


Honorable Mentions:
===================
In my day, we didn't have dogs or cats. All I had was Silver
Beauty, my beloved paper clip. (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)


Back in the 1970s we didn't have the space shuttle to get
all excited about.  We had to settle for men walking on the
crummy moon. 		(Russell Beland, Springfield)


In my day, we didn't have fancy health-food restaurants.
Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts,
along with potatoes drenched in melted fat from those animals.
And we're all as strong as GKK---GAAK! Urrgh.... Thud.
				(Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)


In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to
do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some
fingers amputated. (Jon Patrick Smith, Washington)


Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day,
the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched
on the back of a giant tortoise. 	(Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)


In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback
barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope
you could outrun him. (Sarah M. Wolford, Hanover)


In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash our own
hydrogen and oxygen atoms together. (Diana Hugue, Bowie)


In my day, we didn't have Strom Thurmond.
Oh, wait. Yes we did.			(Peg Sheeran, Vienna)

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                      humor                            1.94.3+
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