humor: may 25 -- Some Quotes

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

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                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
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--Many of us would be better off financially if it weren't
  for the extravagance of our neighbors.

--An ounce of facts is worth a ton of arguments.

--Maybe the reason we have traffic problems is because the
  traffic has become as dense as the drivers.

--A person isn't really educated unless he has learned how little
  he already knows.

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write
faster than anybody who can write better.  --A. J. Liebling (1904-1963)

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of
thought which they avoid.  --Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.  --Erma Bombeck

I do not participate in any sport with ambulances
at the bottom of a hill.  --Erma Bombeck

The one function that TV news performs very well is that when
there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as
if it were. 			 --David Brinkley

The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system,
the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't
have to watch.  -- Dave Barry

We can't all be heros because somebody has to sit on the curb
and clap as they go by.  --Will Rogers

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once
they have exhausted all other alternatives.  --Abba Eban, 1970

How often I found where I should be going only by setting out for
somewhere else.  --R. Buckminster Fuller

PARKINSON'S LAW:  Work expands to fill the time available for its
completion.

The world is full of willing people.  Some willing to work,
the rest willing to let them.  --Robert Frost

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                      humor                            1.94.3+
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