-----Original Message-----
From: John Miller [SMTP:jmiller@bitcorp.net]
Sent: Tuesday, June 16, 1998 12:48 PM
To: 'Bill Robertson'; 'Dan Monson'; 'Monique Boeke'; 'Rod Thomas'; 'Ron Wells'; 'Terry Blanchard'
Subject:
A farmer had been taken several times by the local car dealer. One
day, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was coming over to
purchase a cow. The farmer priced his unit as follows:
Basic cow 499.95
Shipping and handling 35.75
Extra stomach 79.25
Two tone exterior 142.10
Produce storage compartment 126.50
Heavy duty straw chopper 189.60
Four spigot/high output drain system 149.20
Automatic fly swatter 88.50
Genuine cowhide upholstery 179.90
Deluxe dual horns 59.25
Automatic fertilizer attachment 339.40
4 x 4 traction drive assembly 884.16
Pre-delivery wash and comb 69.80
FARMERS SUGGESTED LIST PRICE: 2843.36
Additional dealer adjustments: 300.00
TOTAL LIST PRICE (Including options): $3143.36
+++++
Subject: *S*T*R*E*S*S*
YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO STRESSED IF...
You can achieve a "Runners High" by sitting up.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have
said it before.
The Sun is too loud.
Trees begin chasing you.
You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I. V. drip solution of
espresso.
You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of
coffee.
You can hear mimes.
You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.
Things become "Very Clear".
You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have
said it before.
You keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!" even though you are the only one in
the room.
Your heart beats in 7/8 time.
You and Reality file for divorce.
You can skip without a rope.
It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
You have great revelations concerning: Life, the Universe, and Everything
else, but can't quite find the words for them before the white glow
disappears, leaving you more confused than before.
Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.
You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.
You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are
talking to.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have
said it before...
Losing your mind was okay, but when the voices in your head quieted, it was
like losing your best friend.
__________________________________
John Miller
404 W. Ironwood Drive
Salt Lake City, Utah 84115
(801)464-1665 Direct
(801)464-1600 Main
(801)464-1699 Fax
(801)464-1639 Direct Fax
mailto:jmiller@bitcorp.net
"I will design no product before it is sold!"
__________________________________
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