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Joke: May 9/10 - Really Great Quotes
REALLY GREAT QUOTES
- Submitted by Sam Smith
"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot,
and anyone going faster than you is a moron."
- George Carlin
"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five
miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where
the hell she is."
- Ellen DeGeneris
"I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain."
- Carol Leifer
"A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in
- Shelley Berman
"Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the
Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger.
Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents."
- Billiam Coronel
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore
- Dave Edison
"Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window."
- Steve Bluestone
"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
- Rita Rudner
"Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a
bank robbery has just taken place."
- Johnny Carson
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a
- Will Rogers
"Never moon a werewolf."
- Mike Binder