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Joke: May 8 - A Mother's Dictionary
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TODAY's JOKE
May 8, 1998
====================
RESULTS:
Yesterday's Having Fun with Telemarketers did well
Overall a 5.5 from Joke-Of-The-Day.com members
To all you Mom's out there, Happy Mothers Day and Thanks from
all of us kids.
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A MOTHER'S DICTIONARY
- Submitted by A. Smith
------------------------------------
MOTHER'S DICTIONARY
AMNESIA: A condition that enables a woman who has gone
through labor to have sex again.
BOTTLE: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2am too
FEEDING
DEFENSE: What you'd better have around de yard if you're
going to let de children play outside.
DROOLING: How teething babies wash their chins.
DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order
dessert.
FAMILY: The art of spacing your children the proper
PLANNING distance apart to keep you on the edge of
financial disaster
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't
appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are
wonderful even though they're sure you're not
raising them right.
HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they
do everything we say.
LOOK OUT!: What it's too late for your child to do by the
time you scream it
PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.
PREPARED: A contradiction in terms
CHILDBIRTH
PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies
wearing dry shoes into it.
SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by
boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it
STOREROOM: The distance required between the supermarket
aisles so that children in shopping carts can't
quite reach anything.
TEMPER TANTRUMS: What you should keep to a minimum so as to
not upset the children.
TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman
jammies.
TWO-MINUTE: When the baby's face turns red and she
WARNING begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
VERBAL: Able to whine in words
WEAKER SEX: The kind you have after the kids have worn you out.
WHODUNIT: None of the kids that live in your house.
WHOOPS: An exclamation that translates roughly intO
"get a sponge."
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