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Joke: April 14 - 8 things people would NEVER say



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                              TODAY's JOKE
                              April 14 1998
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               8 THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR FROM MEN/WOMEN
                           - Submitted by Rian
                 =========================================

         8 things you'll never hear a man say :

8) Here honey, you use the remote.
7) You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are 
   just too big.
6) Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!
5) While I'm up, can I get you anything?
4) Sex isn't that important, sometimes I just want to be held.
3) Aww, forget Monday night football, let's watch Melrose Place.
2) Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.
1) We never talk anymore.


       8 things you'll never hear a woman say :

8) What do you mean today's our anniversary?
7) Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.
6) Ohh, this diamond is way to big!
5) Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of
   being 'just friends'
4) Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?
3) Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure
   out how to get there.
2) I don't care if it's on sale, 300 dollars is way to much for a
   designer dress.
1) Hey, pull my finger!

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