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Joke: April 16 - We Miss The KGB!



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                              TODAY's JOKE
                              April 16, 1998
                           ====================
RESULTS: 
Yesterday's Mouse Joke did pretty well.
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                     WE MISS THE KGB           
                          - Submitted by Karen Smith
                 ------------------------------------  
Place and time: Somewhere in the Soviet Union in the 1930s.

The phone rings at KGB headquarters.  "Hello?"

"My neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz is an enemy of the State.  He is hiding
undeclared diamonds in his woodshed."

"This will be noted."

The next day, the KGB goons go over to Rabinovitz's house. They search
the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no
diamonds, swear at Rabinovitz, and leave.

The phone rings at Rabinovitz's house.

"Hello, Yankel! Did the KGB come?"

"Yes."

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yes, they did."

"Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed."


                   A LITTLE PROOF
                     - Submitted by B. Lester
                  ----------------------------
A quiet little man was brought before a judge. The judge looked 
down at the man and then at the charges and then down at the little 
man in amazement.

"Can you tell me in your own words what happened?" he asked the man.
"I'm a mathematician dealing in the laws of nature."

"Yes, go on," said the astounded judge.

"Well, I was at the library and I found the books I wanted and 
went to take them out.  They told me my library card had expired 
and I had to get a new one.  So I went to the registration office 
and got in another line.  And filled out my forms for another card.  
And I got back in line for my card."

"And?" said the judge.

"And he asked 'Can you prove you're from New York City?'

....So I stabbed him."


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