Product Registration

[Eric Thelin <eric@generation-i.com>]

This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonald Douglas website
by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company,
of course, does not - and made the web department take it down
immediately. (In case you don't know McDonald Douglas is one of the
world's chief suppliers of military aircraft).

______________________________________________________________

Thank you for purchasing a McDonald Douglas military aircraft. In
order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
fill out the warranty registration card below.  Answering the survey
questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop
new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss
[_] Lt. [_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] Classified
[_] Other
First Name
______________________________________________________
Initial ________
Last Name
______________________________________________________
Password
______________________________ (max 8 char)
Code Name
______________________________________________________
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude
___________ ___________
__________

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified

3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day)
19______ /______ /______

4. Serial Number
________________________________________________

5. Please check where this product was purchased
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalog showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified

6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonald Douglas product
you have just purchased [_] Heard loud noise, looked up [_] Store
display [_] Espionage [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally [_]
Political lobbying by manufacturer [_] Was attacked by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonald Douglas product [_] Style /
appearance [_] Speed / maneuverability [_] Price / value [_] Comfort /
convenience [_] Kickback / bribe [_] Recommended by salesperson [_]
McDonald Douglas reputation [_] Advanced Weapons Systems [_] Backroom
politics [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used
[_] North America
[_] Central / South America
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Europe
[_] Middle East
[_] Africa
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Classified

9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to
purchase in the near future [_] Color TV [_] VCR [_] ICBM [_] Killer
Satellite [_] CD Player [_] Air-to-Air Missiles [_] Space Shuttle [_]
Home Computer [_] Nuclear Weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(Check all that apply)
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonald Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check

12. Your occupation
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student

13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate
the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating on a regular basis [_] Golf [_] Boating / sailing [_]
Sabotage [_] Running / jogging [_] Propaganda / disinformation [_]
Destabilization / overthrow [_] Default on loans [_] Gardening [_]
Crafts [_] Black market / smuggling [_] Collectibles / collections [_]
Watching sports on TV [_] Wines [_] Interrogation / torture [_]
Household pets [_] Crushing rebellions [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing [_] Border disputes [_] Mutually Assured
Destruction

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.  Your
answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonald Douglas
serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive
mailings and special offers from other companies, governments,
extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. Comments or suggestions
about our fighter planes? Please write to

MCDONALD DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division