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Joke: February 10 - A few short ones + Clinton
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TODAY's JOKE
February 10, 1998
====================
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Yesterday's Monday's funnies received middling grades
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BARBIE
- Submitted by Karo
-----------------------------
Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it's
his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present.
He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store and says to the shop
assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?"
In a condescending manner, she says "Which Barbie?" She continues,
"We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for
$19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for
$19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for
$265.00".
Ralph asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others
are only $19.95?"
"That's obvious" the sales lady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with
Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture.
THE WORLD's 20 SHORTEST BOOKS
--- Submitted by T.D.
------------------------------------------------
20. "The Book of Virtues" by Bill Clinton
19. "My Plan To Find The Real Killers" by OJ Simpson
18. Human Rights Advances in China
17. America's Most Popular Lawyers
16. Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors
15. Detroit - A Travel Guide
14. Different Ways to Spell "Bob"
13. Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches
12. Easy UNIX
11. Al Gore: The Wild Years
10. Everything Men Know About Women
9. Everything Women Know About Men
8. French Hospitality
7. George Foreman's Big Book of Baby Names
6. "How to Sustain a Musical Career" by Art Garfunkel
5. Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette
4. One Hundred and One Spotted Owl Recipes by the EPA
3. "Things I Wouldn't Do for Money" by Dennis Rodman
2. The Amish Phone Directory
And the number one World's Shortest Book:
1. The Engineer's Guide to Fashion
BACK TO THE WHITE HOUSE
------------------------
Back by Popular Demand, more humor from the "First Bedroom"
What do JC Penny's and Bill Clinton have in common?
They both have women's clothes half off.
- Submitted by kathryn minshew
*********
PRESIDENTIAL COMPARISON
- Submitted by Ida Baraba
Nixon: Watergate
Clinton: Waterbed
The President's biggest fear....
Nixon: The Cold War
Clinton: The Cold Sore
Complaints toward the President.....
Nixon: Carpet-Bombing
Clinton: Carpet-Burns
Their Vice-Presidents...
Nixon: His was Greek
Clinton: His is a Geek
Presidential qualities.....
Nixon: Couldn't stop Kissinger
Clinton: Couldn't stop kissing her
Things the President couldn't explain....
Nixon: The missing 18-minutes on the tapes
Clinton: The 36D bra in his briefcase
Presidential Nicknames....
Nixon: Tricky Dick
Clinton: Slick Willy
and finally, Presidential excuses....
Nixon: I am not a crook
Clinton: I didn't get in her nook
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