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Joke: February 11: Valentines from Bill and Monica
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TODAY's JOKE
February 11, 1998
====================
RESULTS:
Yesterdays "Barbie, 20 shortest books and Clinton
received a 5.3 from Joke Members
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A CALL FROM HILLARY
- Submitted by Jana Cochrane
---------------------------------
Hillary went in for her yearly checkup. When she was finished,
she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said he was pleased
and that she is in great shape but, that she was pregnant!
She told the doctor there was no way, but he said that she most
definitely was a month pregnant. Well, she stormed out of the office
and went to the receptionist and took the phone and called the white house.
When the operator answered she said that it was Hillary and that
she wanted to talk to Bill right away. Well they rang the oval office
and Bill answered. Hillary started screaming: "Do you know what you did you lousy jerk. You got me pregnant!!!
The President remained silent. Again, Hillary shouted, "DO YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU DID, YOU #$@&# GOOD-FOR-NOTHING JERK? YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!!!"
Finally Bill answered "Who is this???"........................
TOP TEN SIGNS NO ONE WANTS TO BE YOUR VALENTINE
- Submitted by Julia
===================================================
10. Phone sex operators keep hanging up on you
9. Fox is starting a new show about you: "America's least wanted"
8. You get a heart-shaped box filled with angry hornets
7. The babes just don't seem to go for your home-made star trek uniform
6. You're taking private tutorials with jocelyn elders
5. You have one of them handsome ito beards--and you're a woman!
4. The last time you had sex was during the Kennedy administration
3. You spend your vacation chasin' lizards
2. The pope asks you for tips on celibacy
1. You ain't a gingrich, but your nickname's "newt"
MONICA LEWINSKY's VALENTINES DAY CARD TO PRESIDENT CLINTON
----------------------------------------------------------
Send us your own valentines to CLINTON@Joke-of-the-day.com
Dear Bill,
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I'm in for perjury
and You are TOO
Dear Monica,
Monica, I swear
I wasn't trying to make you "fatter"
But we wouldn't be in this mess
If you didn't chatter
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