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humor: sep 01 -- Recovering the Family Skeleton

                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List


You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let's say
that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character,
was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.

A cousin has supplied you with the only known photograph of Remus, showing
him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture are the words:

"Remus Starr: Horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison, 1885.
Escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton
detectives, convicted and hanged, 1889."

Pretty grim situation, right? But let's revise things a bit. We simply crop
the picture, scan in an enlarged image and edit it with image processing
software so that all that is seen is a head shot.

Next, we rewrite the text:

"Remus Starr was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business
empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and
intimate dealings with the Montana railroad.

Beginning in 1885, he devoted several years of his life to service at a
government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the
railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the
renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an
important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he
was standing collapsed."

             _  _____________________________________  _
            / )|    Thanks to Thomas S. Ellsworth    |( \
           / / |           "Good Clean Fun"          | \ \
         _( (_ |   http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor   | _) )_
        (((\ \>|_/ )_____________________________( \_|</ /)))
        (\\\\ \_/ /                               \ \_/ ////)
         \       /                                 \       /
          \    _/                                   \_    /
          /   /                                       \   \

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              humor                            1.94.3+ 9908