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humor: sep 12 -- age barometers, Sunday Stuff

                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
Bob D. receives the digest version (a week's worth of my humor messages all
at one time), and he adds some "age barometer" ideas.  Thanks, Bob!

>4. Soda pop machines that dispensed bottles
	..... and for a dime.

>6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
	Yes, and that milk was not homogenized. In the winter we saved
monry by not buying ice for the icebox, and instead kept the milk outside
the kitchen window. The real treat was when the milk froze overnight. Then
there was a column of ice cream (really) sticking out the top of the
bottle, topped off with the cardboard cap. Yeah. Maybe those really were
the "good old days", when something that simple could bring so much

>8. Newsreels before the movie
	And all-newsreel theaters near Times Square, including one in Grand
Central Terminal.

>11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Olive - 6933)
	The little girl came home from a week on Grandma's farm. "Grandma
has the most wonderful new kind of telephone. You don't have to dial any
numbers, you just tell it who you want to talk to!"

Manhattanites still hold on to a very obsolete tradition, using the name of
the local post office in the address. You'll see this in TV ads telling you
to send your order to "Acme, 11 West 42nd Street, Murray Hill Station, New
York 10019, N.Y."  Using the station name was made obsolete by the
one-or-two-digit Postal Zone number, which was made obsolete by the 5-digit
Zip code. But many Manhattanites still use it.

I say "Manhattanites" because all New York, NY addresses are for Manhattan.
There are 4 other boroughs in New York City; Brooklyn, Queens, Bronx and
Staten Island. Each of these boroughs (a city-government term) is a
separate county to the state.

Brooklyn, Bronx and Staten Island use just the borough name in addresses,
i.e. "Brooklyn, NY", but Queens uses the name of the local community
instead of "Queens".  A very interesting place, NYC. I do miss it.

>18. Mimeograph paper
	How about the Hectograph?

>23. Drive-ins
	We still have one going around here, so I submit this instead: A&W
drive-ins where your order was delivered by a pretty young waitress on
roller skates.


>From Mikey at Funnies@youthspecialties.com

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together
in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud during the service.
Finally, his big sister had enough.

"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked indignantly.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men
standing by the door? They're hushers!"

[forwarded by Gabe Combs]

Mikey's Thot for the Day:
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

(segues into SERIOUS STUFF)

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal,
and says to the first man he meets, "Do you
want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do, Father."

Then the priest asked the second man,
"Do you want to go to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said,
"Do you want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this.
You mean to tell me that when you
die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes.
I thought you were getting a group
together to go right now."


Matt. 24:44-51
.....the the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.
45    "Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put
in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the
proper time?  46   It will be good for that servant whose master finds him
doing so when he returns.  47   I tell you the truth, he will put him in
charge of all his possessions.  48   But suppose that servant is wicked and
says to himself, `My master is staying away a long time,'  49   and he then
begins to beat his fellow servants and to eat and drink with drunkards.  50
The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him
and at an hour he is not aware of.  51   He will cut him to pieces and
assign him a place with the hypocrites, where there will be weeping and
gnashing of teeth.


Mark 13:32-27
	"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in
heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.  33   Be on guard! Be alert! You
do not know when that time will come.  34   It's like a man going away: He
leaves his house and puts his servants in charge, each with his assigned
task, and tells the one at the door to keep watch.  35    "Therefore keep
watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back
--whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at
dawn.  36   If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping.  37
What I say to you, I say to everyone: `Watch!'"

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              humor                            1.94.3+ 9908