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humor: sep 16 -- It Makes A Difference

                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
It Makes A Difference (to Air Traffic Controlers)

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and
civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control
tower in the middle.  One day the tower received a call from an
aircraft asking, "What time is it?"

The tower responded, "Who is calling?"

The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"

The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
If it is a commercial flight , it is 3 o'clock.
If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is
on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3."

            Posted From:  <<ODDGITS JOKE MAILING LIST>>
  :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)

"My wife drives like lightning."
"She drives fast?"
"No, she hits trees!"
			Posted From [Giggles N Grins]
  :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)

"What is the difference between unethical and ethical
advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to
deceive; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive."
			--- Vilhjalmur Stefansson
  :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)


Now in the news are all kinds of reports on what oil costs per barrel,
how it affects gas prices, airline tickets, heating and air conditioning,
etc., etc., etc. Well, here's what the "other stuff" costs by the barrel.

West Texas Intermediate Crude:  $14.68

What 'other stuff' costs by the barrel
[42 gallons] -- info not verified

Coca-Cola:  $78.73
Milk:  	$126.00
Evian Water:  $189.90
Orange Juice:  $251.16
Perrier Water:  $328.67
Lemon Oil:  $390.88
Crisco Oil:  $435.12
Scope Mouthwash:  $826.65
Sunflower Oil:  $971.04
Olive Oil:  $1,324.38
Real Maple Syrup:  $1,787.52
Sesame Oil:  $2,535.61
Jack Daniel's Bourbon:  $4,133.26
Visine Eye Drops:  $32,202.24
Flonase Prescription Nasal Spray:  $238,133.21

		Posted From:  <<*BOO'S JOKELIST*>>
  :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)

The Talking Clock

A student at Southern Illinois University was proudly showing off his new
apartment to friends, he led the way into the den.

"What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.

"That is the talking clock", the student replied.

"How's it work?" the friend asked.

"Watch", the student said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering
pound with the hammer.

Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall "KNOCK IT OFF,
YOU JERK! It's two AM!"

  :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)   :-)

~ Middle Age: When actions creak louder than words.

~ Egotist: One who is me-deep in conversation.

~ To my sweetheart: My cooking's gotten better since I fondue.

~ Income Tax: Capital punishment.

~ A used car is not always what it's jacked up to be.

~ Two silkworms were in a race. They ended up in a tie.

~ Archeologist: A man whose career lies in ruins.

~ Kleptomaniac: One who can't help himself from helping himself.

~ Did you hear about the snake who gave birth to a bouncing baby boa?

~ The competition at a local dog show was quite "Ruff."

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

Thanks to "The Funnies"  /////////////////////////////
To get on their list, send a blank email to:

	"quiltwood" writes:
Wow! There still exists an A & W Drive-in in Tacoma, Washington.
But the waitress doesn't come out in roller skates.
Owner's wife is renowned for her homemade pies!
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              humor                            1.94.3+ 9908