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humor: sep 17 -- FRIDAY STUFF: Nostalgia

                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List

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====================  BLACK AND WHITE TV =========
From: Bill Butler <mailto:billbutler@totacc.com>  
Subject: Black & White

You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go
Pull a chair up to the TV set,
"Good night David, Good night Chet"
Dependin' on the channel you tuned
You got Rob and Laura - or Ward and June
It felt so good, felt so right
Life looked better in black and white

I Love Lucy, The Real McCoys
Dennis the Menace, the Cleaver boys
Rawhide, Gunsmoke, Wagon Train,
Superman, Lois Lane
Father Knows Best, Patty Duke
Rin Tin Tin and Lassie too
Donna Reed on Thursday night
Life looked better in black and white

I wanna go back to black and white
Everything always turned out right
Simple people, simple lives
Good guys always won the fights
Now nothin's the way it seems
In living color or on the screen
I wanna go back to black and white

In God they trusted, in bed they slept
A promise made was a promise kept
They never cussed or broke their vows
They'd never make the network now
But if I could I'd rather be
in a TV town in '63
It felt so good, felt so right
Life looked better in black and white.

I'd trade all the channels on the satellite
If I could just turn back the clock tonight
To when everybody knew wrong from right
Life was better in black and white.


REVISED AGE BAROMETER (this list of 25 items has now
grown to 31, and surely more could be added)

If you remember 0-5 = You're very young
If you remember 6-12 = You are getting older
If you remember 18-14 = Don't tell your age
If you remember 25-31 = You're probably retired

Blackjack chewing gum
Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
Candy cigarettes
Soda pop machines that dispensed bottles
Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes
Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
Party lines
Newsreels before the movie
Double feature movies with cartoons
P.F. Flyers
Buster Brown and his dog Tigue
Butch wax
Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Olive -6933)
Howdy Doody
78 RPM records
45 RPM records
33 1/3 RPM records
Records that could play in monaural or in compatible stereo.
S&H Green Stamps
Metal ice trays with levers
Mimeograph paper
Blue flashbulbs
Beanie and Cecil cartoons on TV
Beanie and Cecil puppets on TV
Roller skate keys
Cork popguns
Wash tub wringers

Some Signs That Old Age
Might Be Creeping Up On You:
		--George Burns

When you like to be in crowds because
they keep you from falling down.

When the parts that have arthritis
are the parts where you feel best.

When your favorite section of the
newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today".

When a big evening with your friends
is sitting around comparing living wills.

When your knees buckle,
but your belt won't.

When your clothes go into the overnight bag
so you can fill the suitcase with your pills.

When your idea of a change of scenery
is looking to the left or right.

When somebody you consider an old-timer
calls you an old-timer.

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              humor                            1.94.3+ 9908