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humor: oct 05 -- Painter, hikers, bear, mule

                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List

Tom B. send along a story about a mule ....

The old farmer stopped by the general store and was complaining to the
folks sitting around the stove that his mule had the colic something

One of the sitters commented that his mule had had the colic and he made
him drink a pint of kerosene.  The old farmer went home, got the mule and
the kerosene and forced the animal to drink it; after which the mule
politely laid down and died.

Several days later the farmer was again at the general store and told his
advice giving friend, "I had my mule drink a pint of kerosene, like you
said, and he died."

"Yep" replied the man, "so did mine."

Something from Tiffany......

 The Painter!
 A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a
 contractor in to help her.  They wander around the house, and she
 points out the colors she wants.  She says, "Now, in the living
 room, I'd like to have a neutral beige, very soft and warm."

 The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it.
 Then he goes to the window, leans out and yells, "Green side up!"

 The woman is most perplexed but she lets it slide.  They wander into
 the next room.  She says, "In the dining room I'd like a light white,
 not stark, but very bright and airy."  The contractor nods, pulls out
 his pad of paper and writes on it. Then he goes to the window, leans
 out, and yells "Green side up"! The woman is even more perplexed but
 still lets it slide. They wander further into the next room.  She
 says, "In the bedroom, I'd like blue.  Restful, peaceful, cool blue."

 The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it.
 Then once more he goes to the window, leans out and yells "Green side
 up"! This is too much.  The woman has to ask.  So she says, "Every
 time I tell you a color, you write it down, but then you yell out the
 window 'Green side up.'  What on earth does that mean?"

 The contractor shakes his head and says, "I have four Hittites laying
 sod across the street."

		"Life is an
		 even numbered
		 word problem."

Two Hikers and a Bear
Two guys are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts
chasing them. They climb up a tree, but the bear starts
climbing up the tree after them. The first guy gets
his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting
them on. The second guy says, "What are you doing?"
He replies, "I figure when the bear gets close to us,
we'll jump down and make a run for it." The second guy
says, "Are you crazy? You can't outrun a bear." The
first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear...
I only have to outrun you."

		Those who forget the
		pasta are condemned
		to reheat it!

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              humor                            1.94.3+ 9908