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humor: oct 10 -- Science Fiction!!
Nick's G-Rated Humor List
ON SCIENCE FICTION (joke credited to Dave Coble)
To conclude the course's segment on science fiction a prof assigned
the class a paper, on any topic they wished having to do with science
fiction. The next week, after the papers had been turned in, the professor
was grading them and came across this paper:
"There once was an Israeli border guard named Isaac. Across the
border from Isaac, Abdul, an Arab border guard, had his post. One night,
Abdul crept over the border and killed Isaac. When Isaac's commander found
out what had transpired the previous night, he was furious, and the next
night, he and his squad staged a raid in which several Arab border guards,
including Abdul, were killed. This, of course lead to Arab reprisals, which
in turn lead to Israeli reprisals, which in turn...ad infinitum.
Eventually, the Arabs and Israelis were at war."
Well, the professor read this paper, and being utterly confused,
reread it, shook his head in disgust, and wrote a large "F" on it, in red
ink, and then moved on to the next paper.
The next day, at the end of class, he handed back the papers, and
as he was preparing to leave, the student who received the "F" approached
and asked to speak with the professor.
I don't understand why you didn't like my paper," the student said.
"It's very simple," the professor replied. "You were assigned to
write a paper on science fiction. This paper has nothing whatsoever to do
with the assigned subject."
"I must disagree," said the student. "I think that my paper
examined the very basis of Zion's Friction."
BUH DUM BUM! Of course, that is not the real cause
of Zion's Friction .... but this is not the day for
serious stuff..... anyhow, thanks to ....
the emailings of Stan Kegel <firstname.lastname@example.org>
SERIOUS STUFF .....
THE END OF ZION'S FRICTION
Rom. 9:6 It is not as though God's word had failed.
For not all who are descended from Israel are Israel.
Rom. 9:27 Isaiah cries out concerning Israel:
"Though the number of the Israelites be like the
sand by the sea, only the remnant will be saved.
28 For the Lord will carry out his
sentence on earth with speed and finality."
29 It is just as Isaiah said previously:
"Unless the Lord Almighty
had left us descendants,
we would have become like Sodom,
we would have been like Gomorrah."
30 What then shall we say? That the Gentiles,
who did not pursue righteousness,
have obtained it,
a righteousness that is by faith;
31 but Israel, who pursued a law of righteousness, has not attained it.
32 Why not?
Because they pursued it not by faith
but as if it were by works. They stumbled
over the "stumbling stone."
33 As it is written:
"See, I lay in Zion a stone that causes men to
stumble and a rock that makes them fall, and the
one who trusts in him will never be put to shame."
Rom. 10:9 [... so therefore ...]
if you confess with your mouth,
"Jesus is Lord,"
and believe in your heart that God
raised him from the dead,
you will be saved.
10 For it is with your heart
that you believe and are justified,
and it is with your mouth that you
confess and are saved.
11 As the Scripture says,
"Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame."
12 For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile --
the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses
all who call on him, 13 for, "Everyone who calls
on the name of the Lord will be saved."
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