[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

humor: aug 09 -- Girls, Feet, Inventions



=======================================================================
                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
=======================================================================

IT'S A GIRL THING
=================
Dalene Barnes took up the challenge to compose a woman's version of the
recent "It's a GUY thing" post.  I was impressed!  Take a look for yourself.

"No, Honey, I don't need your help."
        Of course I do.  You should just get up
        and help without asking first.

"Nothing's the matter."
        What's the matter?  You, buster!  And you should know why.  And if
you dare accept that answer, you're in worse trouble than you were before!

"Dinner?  I didn't have anything out yet."
        TAKE ME OUT......!

"Were we taking a new route today?"
        You missed the turn, idiot!

"Do you like this outfit?"
        Doesn't matter what you answer, I'm changing.

"Look, a rest area with a historic marker."
        "Please please please please please stop the car and let me go
potty and walk around even though we don't need gas yet!"

Would you rather stay here and watch the
ballgame or go shopping with me?
    I'm making a polite attempt to include you,
    but don't you dare say "shopping."  We've both
    got an out here - take it!

"Honey, would you mind watching the kids for awhile?"
        Take these spawn of yours off my hands before I do something we'll
all regret.  I'm getting out of here while I still have hair!

"He's not near as cute as you, Honey."
        The guy is knock down dead gorgeous with rippling muscles, but
you're the one I love."



  F O O T     F A C T S
==========================

Twenty-five percent of the bones in your body are in your foot.
      (AMPA Foot Health)

The foot is an intricate structure containing 26 bones,
33 joints, 107 Ligaments and 19 muscles and tendons.
				(apma.com)

In a lifetime, most people will walk about 115,00 miles,
the equivalent of four trips around the world.
       		(The American Podiatric Medical Society)

Sixty-two percent of Americans think it's normal for their
feet to hurt.  			(Walking Magazine)

Impact forces from aerobics can reach up to six times the
force of gravity, all of which is transmitted to each of
the 26 bones in the foot.
         (The American Podiatric Medical Association)

Nine out of ten women wear shoes that are too small for their feet.
         (The American Academy of Othopaedic Surgeons)

Sizes vary among shoe brands and styles.  Don't select shoe
by the size marked inside the shoe.  Judge the shoe by how
it fits on your foot.  Always have your feet measured.
         (shoeonthenet.com)

			Thanks to Ken T for
			sending this along!



SOME IMPOSSIBLE INVENTIONS
==========================
* Inflatable dart board
* Windscreen wipers for submarines
* Toasted soup sandwich
* Waterproof teabags
* Concrete life jackets to keep out the sharks
* Ejection seat in a helicopter
* Solar-powered flashlight (Brits: torch)
* Water-based sunblock
	--- thanks to an anonymous subscriber!

 =======================================================================
 ARCHIVES OF PAST ISSUES: http://www.NicksHumor.net/archive
 =======================================================================
 Thanks for telling your friends about this humor list.
 Send G-Rated submissions to: submit@NicksHumor.net
=======================================================================
TO SUBSCRIBE:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: subscribe
 Do not type any other words.
=======================================================================
TO UNSUBSCRIBE:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: unsubscribe
 Do not type any other words.
=======================================================================
TO SWITCH TO DIGEST VERSION OF LIST:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: set digest
 Do not type any other words.
 You will receive 1 message per week with all jokes from previous week.
=======================================================================
 To report trouble with list send to: help@NicksHumor.net
=======================================================================
                      humor                            1.94.3+
=======================================================================