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humor: aug 08 -- Sunday Stuff

                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
  Do you suppose that the best place
  to shop for STAR WARS (Episode One)
  merchandise is at the DARTH MALL?
		--- "Wierd Al" Yankovic

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
 Actual reference queries reported by American
 and Canadian library reference desk workers.
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

"Do you have books here?"

"Do you have a list of all the books
written in the English language?"

Asked at First Floor Reference Desk:
"Is the basement upstairs?"

"I am looking for a list of laws that
I can break that would send me back
to jail for a couple of months."

"I'm looking for Robert James Waller's book,
'Waltzing through Grand Rapids'." (Actual title
wanted: "Slow Waltz in Cedar Bend.")

"I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook
that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?"

"Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hairdryer?"

"Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War
battles were fought on National Park sites?"

"Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?"

"I need a photocopy of Booker T. Washington's birth certificate."

"Why don't you have any books by Ibid?
He's written a lot of important stuff."

"I need to find out Ibid's first name for my bibliography."

"Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read?"

   [above:forwarded by Lisa Farris]
 Thanks to MIKEY'S FUNNIES, brought to you
 by Mike Atkinson @ YOUTH SPECIALTIES

F O O D    F O R    T H O U G H T
 T H E   H U N G E R   S I T E

Jerry L. has sent me the web URL for

According to that site information, you can help feed a hungry person at no
cost to yourself simply by clicking on a button.  When you click on that
button, you are told how much food was donated, and by which corporate
sponsors.  You may click the button once a day -- no more.

The United Nations World Food Programme has received more than a million
servings of food donated by these corporate sponsors since THE HUNGER SITE
opened in June 1999.

At THE HUNGER SITE, you will also see a map of the world.  A country
darkens each time a child dies of hunger (according to current statistics).

	Nick Brown (and Nick's Humor List) has not verified
	the claims made on The Hunger Site.  You are encouraged
	to make your own decision once you visit the web site


Rom. 12:20-21   On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he
is thirsty, give him something to drink .... 21  Do not be overcome by
evil, but overcome evil with good.

James 2:15  Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food.
16  If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well
fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?

Matt. 25:37  "Then the righteous will answer him, `Lord, when did we see
you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  38
When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and
clothe you?  39   When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit
you?'  40  "The King will reply, `I tell you the truth, whatever you did
for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Isa. 58:5-8  Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man
to humble himself? Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed and for
lying on sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day
acceptable to the LORD?  6  "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set
the oppressed free and break every yoke?  7  Is it not to share your food
with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-- when you
see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and
blood?  8  Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing
will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the
glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

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                      humor                            1.94.3+