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joke: Quote and Unquote

I haven't committed a crime. What I
did was fail to comply with the law.
        --David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering
          accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've
lost a very important part of your life.
        --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
          spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign

I've never had major knee surgery
on any other part of my body.
        --Winston Bennett, U. Kentucky basketball

Outside of the killings, Washington has
one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
        --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only
the people who make them unsafe.
        --Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief
          and mayor of Philadelphia

After finding no qualified candidates for the position
of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to
announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
        --Philip Streifer, Superintendent of
          Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island