Joke: WINDERS 98

[Eric Thelin <eric@generation-i.com>]

Mangysoft's Winders 98
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

It has come to our attention that a few copies of a special experimental
edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside of the
original test market. If you have one of these experimental editions you
may need some help understanding the commands. This edition may be
recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a
background picture of the General Lee super imposed on a Confederate
flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Also note the
Recycle Bin is labelled Outhouse, My Computer is called This Infernal
Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is
known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive,
and floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs.

Other features:

Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag
and duct tape.


 OK = ats aww-right

 cancel = hail no

 reset = aw shoot

 yes = shore

 no = Naaaa

 find = hunt-fer it

 go to = over yonder

 back = back yonder

 help = hep me out here

 stop = ternit off

 start = crank it up

 settings = sittins

 programs = stuff `at does stuff

 documents = stuff I done done


Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or 
punctuation marks.


Some programs that are exclusive to Mangysoft's Winders 98:


 typeriter...........A word processor

 colering book.......a graphics program 

 addin mershene......calculator

 outhouse paper .....notepad

 jupe-box ...........CD Player

 inner-net............Microsoft Explorer 

 picthers.............A graphics viewer

 IRS.................M/S accounting software

 IRS2................M/S accounting software with hidden files 

 coon dog............American kennel club records

 fishin..............Bass Anglers Sportsman Society records. 

 NRA.................National? Rifle Association

 shot gun ...........Remington Arms price list 

 riffel..............Winchester price list

 pisstel.............Smith & Wesson price list

 truck...............Ford & Chevrolet dealers by zip code

 homepage...............Nearest Mobile home repair service by zip code

 car ................same as truck cuzzins.............family history

 usually a 3 meg file tax records.........usually an empty file

 shells..............ammunition inventory - another 3 meg file

 bud.................list of Budweiser dealers by zip code

 rasin...............NASCAR racing schedule includes list of TV stations
    that carry the race car n truck Parts...nearest Junk yard by zip code

doc.................veterinarians by zip code

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received this 
special edition. You may return it to Mangysoft for a replacement
version.