Propeller head Humor

[Terry Mickelson <terrym@goodnet.com>]

Part I -- Project chronology

Number the following project steps chronologically from 1 to 10:

    ___ Buy the hardware at a huge discounted price.
    ___ Find the hardware two days later at an even better discounted 
price.
    ___ Meet with users.
    ___ Argue with users.
    ___ Discover that the chief financial officer has canceled the 
project.
    ___ Make a "build or buy" software decision.
    ___ Try "build" for 28 months, then decide to "buy" and hope nobody 
notices.
    ___ Plan to "exhaustively" test the system.
    ___ End up barely "sort of" testing the system.
    ___ Ask for a promotion.

 ------
Part II -- Battlefield decisions

Choose the correct responses:

1)  You have just worked 86 weeks straight, and you finally stabilize 
the
system.  As you pack your briefcase for your first real weekend since
1981, the chief information officer pops in and says: "I forgot to 
mention that
darn IS audit.  I'll need all 7,200 pages of system documentation 
updated
on my desk first thing Monday."  You stop what you're doing, look him in 
the
eye and say:

a)  "Gladly, as long as I may not-too-carefully insert it one page at a 
time
into a spot located between the belt and the back of your knees."
b)  "It would be a pleasure because I know you're still considering that
small raise that I so-forwardly requested back in the summer of 1987."
c)  "Thank you, sir.  May I have another?"


2)  You support the local air traffic control system.  You learn the 
system has been down all morning and suddenly remember you made a 
secret, untested change last night.  Do you:

a)  Fess up and try to resolve the problem before anything happens.
b)  Responsibly restore the system from yesterday's back-up 
tape...except that you forgot to make one.
c)  Make a mental note not to fly for a few days.
 ------
Part III -- IS Jeopardy

For the following answers, circle the question that is most appropriate:

Answer:

1)  Several hundred concurrent users.

a)  "What do you get when 1,000 people hit Enter?"
b)  "What do you get when you work the help desk?"
c)  "What do you get when you give your Visa number on the Internet?"


2)  12/31/99

a)  "When will you finish working on Year 2000 system changes?"
b)  "When will you start working on Year 2000 system changes?"
c)  "What's a good night to turn off your pager?"


3)  A master's of science in information technology with a minor in
global economics.

a) "What do you need on your resume?"
b) "What do you need on your resume, especially if you don't know C?"
c) "What, with 25 cents, can get you a cup of coffee?"

 ------
Part IV -- Matching

Draw a line between the phrases on the left and the correct explanation
on the right.

Distributed computing                   A confusing architecture

Client/server                            A really confusing architecture

Legacy systems                          Expensive and in production

Object-oriented systems                 Really expensive and years from
production

Layoffs                                  Streamlining processes and 
staff

Re-engineering                          Strategically streamlining 
processes
and staff

Internet security                        The most elusive goals of 
the'90s

Hotel reservations for Comdex/Fall     The second-most elusive goal of 
the '90s
 ------
Part V -- Essay

Collect your thoughts about all the things that make IS an exciting, fun
and fulfilling career, then carefully list them in the space provided 
below.

  Your answer goes here -->  [ ]


-- 
                         Terry Mickelson 
                     Above Ground Industries 
  Fax from Your Desktop to Anywhere in the World Using the Internet!
            Training, Site Development, Web Hosting
      terrym@goodnet.com   terrym@swlink.net  (602)992-8490