humor 2000: Football (just in time!?)

[Nick Brown <nbrown@calpoly.edu>]

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Today's Anagram:  William Shakespeare
                        == I am a weakish speller
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


The Politically Correct National Football League
would like to announce its name changes and schedules
for the '00/'01 season:

The Washington Native Americans will host the New York Very
Tall People on opening day. Other key games include the Dallas
Western-Style Laborers hosting the St. Louis Uninvited Guests,
and the Minnesota Plundering Norsemen taking on the Green Bay
Meat Industry Workers.

In Week 2, there are several key matchups, highlighted by the
showdown between the San Francisco Precious Metal Enthusiasts
and the New Orleans Pretty Good People. The Atlanta Birds of
Prey will play host to the Philadelphia Birds of Prey, while
the Seattle Birds of Prey will visit the Phoenix Male Finches.

The Monday night game will pit the Miami Pelagic Percoid Food
Fishes against the Denver Untamed Beasts of Burden. The Cincinnati
Large Bangladeshi Carnivorous Mammals will travel to Tampa Bay for
a clash with the West Indies Free Booters later in Week 9. And the
Detroit Large Carnivorous Cats will play the Chicago
Securities-Traders-in-a-Declining-Market.

Week 9 also features the Indianapolis Young Male Horses at the
New England Zealous Lovers of Country.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
            Mikey's Thot for the Day
   Drive carefully. Cars aren't the only thing
      that can be recalled by their maker.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


FOOTBALL AS A POLITICAL PARADIGM

DEMOCRATIC FOOTBALL: Just like COMMUNIST FOOTBALL, except that an
unholy number of players find it easier to sit on the bench and let
the rest of their team score for them. This phenomenon is better
understood in relation to the overwhelming growth of coaching
staffs, front office personnel, and foreign team owners.

REPUBLICAN FOOTBALL: The team that scores the least not only loses
the game, but the league subsequently penalizes them heavily and
rewrites the rules so that the only way they can become competitive
again is through the draft lottery.

ROSS PEROT FOOTBALL: The rules make so little sense that even the
fans are annoyed, yet they continue to buy tickets because they
think the other games are even worse.

LIBERTARIAN FOOTBALL: The teams are so interested in keeping the
referees uninvolved that it's impossible for anyone to ever win.


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
           Thanks to: MIKEY'S FUNNIES
 http://www.YouthSpecialties.com/special/lists.html
           Youth Ministry on the Net:
        http://www.YouthSpecialties.com
           Real Help for Real Ministry
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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