humor: nov 08 -- Science Fiction

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

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                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
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  Taken from the mailings of
  Stan Kegel <kegel@fea.net>
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	Why did the sick cook's disposition improve when she
	stuck her hand  in the bowl in which she was mixing
	cake ingredients?
		Because suddenly she was feeling batter
		(By Cynthia MacGregor)

Jumble:
	An iron worker needs nerves of steel.

Twisted Humor:
	I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it.
	I said, "Thyroid problem?"

Bag of Gags:
	A Louisiana State trooper pulls over a pickup truck
	on I-10. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
	The driver says, "Bout what?"

Children's Mondegreens from Richard Lederer:
	Chipmunks roasting on an open fire

Scientific Bloopers from Richard Lederer:
	Many dead animals of the past changed into
	fossils while others preferred to be oil.

Tom Swifts:
	"May I become a chorister?" Tom inquired.

Gillette Patrick:
	"What happened to your skin?" asked Dr. Tom rashly.

Lexicon From Dave Coble:
	Moccasins: Imitations Of Real Transgressions

==========================
	My teen-aged son, Robbie had long bored every one of his
acquaintances with long tales of his surfing prowess. It was decided
at last to call his bluff. When all were at the beach, with the waves
curling in perfectly, a surfboard was suddenly thrust into his hand,
and he was told, "Show us, Robbie. Show us what you can do with a
surfboard."

	Robbie did not hesitate. He took the board, marched toward the
water line, but then stopped ten feet short of the highest reach of the
waves. Holding his surfboard vertically beside him, he stood as though
graven in stone.

	His companions finally lost their patience. "Come on Robbie," they
yelled, "get into the water."

	"I don't have to," he yelled back.

	"Why not?"

	And, Robbie shouted, "Because ...
	they also surf who only stand and wait."
				(By Isaac Asimov)
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              humor                            1.94.3+ 9908
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