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humor: nov 06 -- Person to Person?
Nick's G-Rated Humor List
From: "Paul Corder" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded
late one night at a fashionable resort - one that did not admit Jews.
The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, no room. The
hotel is full." The Jewish lady said, "But your sign says that you have
vacancies." The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, "You know that
we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town..."
Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeable and said, "I'll have you know I
converted to your religion."
The desk clerk said, "Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test. How was
Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little
town called Bethlehem."
"Very good," replied the hotel clerk. "Tell me more."
Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born in a manger."
"That's right," said the hotel clerk. "And why was he born in a manger?"
Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly, "Because some thoughtless hotel clerk
wouldn't give a Jewish lady a room for the night!"
William E. Brandt, Jr.:
(From The Pun-American Newsletter)
William sent out some of these,
and others were inspired to send more.
Thanks to all --- even those who sent some I omitted.
> Ministers telephone each other parson to parson.
> Iranians telephone each other Persian to Persian.
> Italians telephone each other paison to paison.
> Actors telephone each other persona to persona.
> Male heirs contesting a will
> telephone each other poor son to poor son.
From: Paula Park <email@example.com>
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor
told him that he had to drink warm water one hour before breakfast.
At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was
feeling better. He said he actually felt worse.
"Did you drink warm water an hour before breakfast each day?"
"No," replied the man, "I tried, Doc. But I could only drink
it for about 15 minutes."
Mikey's Thot for the Day:
If walking is so good for you then why
does my mailman look like Jabba the Hut?
> Quarterbacks telephone each other passin' to passin'.
> Prison wardens telephone each other prison to prison.
> Herpetologists telephone each other poison to poison.
> Zoo keepers telephone each other possum to possum
> (only when the lion is not busy).
Harry (from Whatadeal) sent me this mesage to translate
the ISRAELI ICE CREAM FLAVORS. Thanks, Harry!
Of course, I thought all of them were obvious!! :-)
Wailing Walnut (from the wailing wall)
Moishmallow (Moish is a Jewish name for Moses)
Mazel Toffee (Mazel = luck)
Lemontashens (similar to hamentashen, the pastry eaten on Purim)
Soda & Gomorra (Sodom and Gemorra were two cities
in the time of Abraham)
Choc-Eilat Chip (Eilat is a city in Israel)
Abba Ebanana (Abba Eban is an Israeli security official)
Lehitra Oats (Lehitra Oat is Hebrew for goodbye)
Rashi Road (Rashi was a Rabbi from many centuries ago)
Chazalnut (Chazal was a group of rabbis)
Olive Hashalom (Hashalom = hello or peace in hebrew)
Oy Ge-malt (Oy Gevalt)
Bubble G'mora (G'mora = the talmud)
Mi Ka-mocha (hebrew question)
Manishta Nut (Manishtana is the 4 questions asked on Passover)
Balak Berry (Balak is a section of the bible/Torah)
Lubavicher Resberry (Lubavich is a jewish sect)
Cashew Le'Pesach (Pesach = Passover)
Chuppapaya (Chuppa is a part of a wedding)
O-lime Habah (Olam Haba is the world to come)
Berry Pr'i Hagafen (Borei Pri Hagafen is blessing made over wine)
Of course, all flavors come in a Cohen
(Cohen = jewish priest and name)
> Ladies shopping telephone each other purse-on to purse-on.
> Short-order cooks telephone each other pans on to pans on.
> French seafood-lovers telephone each other poisson to poisson.
> Race-car drivers telephone each other pacin' to pacin'.
> Native americans who married Caucasians might have heirs
who could telephone each other pale son to pale son.
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