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humor: sep 06 -- more puns
Nick's G-Rated Humor List
For those of you who realized that I had already sent out some of Sunday's
material in August, here is some more stuff. Which I probably already sent
out too. Sigh. I gotta lie down now.....
First, a pun from Tom Ervin ---
Did you hear about the Broadway producer
who is doing a musical version of
A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE?
- - - - - -
The tentative title is
Now three puns from Jerry ---.
A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm
shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Please calm down. You'll just
have to be a little patient."
[Or did the doctor say, "Don't be short with me."?]
A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name
missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the
local civic official who apologized profusely saying .... "I must have
taken Leif off my census."
Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.
However, all the league records unfortunately were destroyed in a fire.
Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled
Taken from the GROANERS mailings
of Stan Kegel <email@example.com>
There's a deadly snake in the African Congo that will
drop down from branches as your jeeps drive through,
and attach itself to your car's frontal glass.
... It's called the windshield viper.
A dermatologist's office is a site for psoriasis.
Mary went to the antiques store and bought a small,
old-fashioned, kerosene lighting device but unfortunately
found it infested with small albino insects that had
recently vacated their former home on a feline. What
did Mary have?
... Mary had a little lamp.
Its fleas were white as snow
My brother and I were walking along the street to a friend's house.
I was maybe half-a-step in front of him, and out of the corner of my eye I
saw him look up and then down really quickly. I turned around and didn't
see anything, so I asked him, "What did you see?"
Looking around again I still didn't see anything.
I asked "Where, in the sky?"
He said, "No, digging a tunnel."
To which I replied,
"Oh, I see. ... A mynah bird."
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