humor: jul 20 -- Tom Swifties and more

["Tim Treaster" <tim@bytewaresys.com>]

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		====>> first emailed to
		====>> Nick's Humor List
		====>> August 1996

Tom Swift, in the adventure books of yesteryear,
never just "did" anything.  He always "did something"
that was described by an adverb.  This soon lead to a
proliferation of punful "Tom Swifties" ... such as ...

[] "I don't like that Christmas tree,"
    Tom pined.

[] "I just had a brain operation,"
    Tom said absent-mindedly.

[] "I guess this trampoline is okay,"
    Tom said flippantly.

[] "I dropped my chain saw,"
    Tom said offhandedly.

[] "Oops, there goes the toothpaste,"
    Tom remarked Crestfallenly.

[] "Is it really 5 AM?
    Tom asked mournfully.


========== Quotes for our Time =========

"It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is
both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is
interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper."
        Rod Serling

"This planet has -- or rather had -- a problem, which was
this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty
much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this
problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the
movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd
because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of
paper that were unhappy."
        Douglas Adams

========= A Physics Riddle =========

Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road?
A: Because it was on the other side.


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                      humor                            1.94.3+
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