humor: jul 31 -- Sabbath Stuff

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

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WHAT'S IN A NAME?? (part one)

Harry <Whattadeal@aol.com> sends out jokes
and stuff with a Jewish theme (both ethnic
and religious).  Here is the first part of
a list of changed names ....

Asa Yoelson			Al Jolson
Milton Berlinger		Milton Berle
Fanny Borach                    Fanny Brice

Betty Joan Perske		Lauren Bacall
Nathan Birnbaum			George Burns
David Daniel Kaminsky		Danny Kaye

Edward Israel Iskowitz          Eddie Cantor
Ethel Zimmerman          	Ethel Merman
Borge Rosenbaum			Victor Borge

Amos Jacob			Lee J. Cobb
Ella Geisman         		June Allyson
Abraham Isaac Arshawsky 	Artie Shaw

Benjamin Kubelsky        	Jack Benny
Lazlo Lowenstein		Peter Lorre
Emanual Goldenberg		Edward G. Robinson

Sophia Kalish			Sophie Tucker
Israel Baline          		Irving Berlin
Sidney Leibowitz         	Steve Lawrence
Judith Tuvim			Judy Holliday



HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've
  got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying
  about a stupid burned-out light bulb?

Border Collie: Just one.  Not only that, but I'll replace any
  wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!

Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll
  do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails
  will be dry.

Rottweiler: Go Ahead!  Make me!

Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling.  What are servants for?

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!  Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb!
  Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me
  while he's busy.

Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep
  on the couch.

Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there...

Greyhound: It isn't moving.  Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing
  I just ate was a light bulb?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to "Have A Nice Day" (Cheryl Rogers - smiles@bapp.com)

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                      humor                            1.94.3+
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