humor: jun 05 -- THIRTEEN QUESTIONS

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

=======================================================================
                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
=======================================================================

A LOGIC TEST ....

1. How can you arrange for two people to stand on the same piece of
newspaper and yet be unble to touch each other without stepping off the
newspaper.

2. How many 3-cent stamps are there in a dozen?

3. A rope ladder hangs over the side of a ship.  The rungs are one foot
apart and the ladder is 12 feet long.  The tide is rising at four inches an
hour.  How long will it take before the first four rungs of the ladder are
underwater?

4. Which would you rather have, a trunk full of nickels or a trunk half
full of dimes?

5. Steve has three piles of sand and Mike has four piles of sand.  All
together, how many do they have?

6. In which sport are the shoes made entirely of metal?

7. If the Vice-President of the United States should die, who would be
President?

8. How many times can you subtract 2 from the numeral 9?

9. If you take two apples from three apples, how many apples will you have?

10.  How can you throw a golf ball with all your might and -- without
hitting a wall or any other obstruction -- have the ball stop and come
right back to you?

11. If you are standing on a hard floor, how can you drop an egg three feet
without breaking the egg?

12. According to most state laws, the attempt to commit a certain crime is
punishable, but actually committing the crime is not.  What is the crime?

13. Find the English word that can be formed from all these letters:
    PNLLEEEESSSSS


============
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like
shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller
============
I never used to be able to finish anything but now I
============


The Japanese Haiku poem has a specific
structure.  The number of syllables on
each line must follow the pattern 5/7/5.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
- - - - - - - - - - - -



1A. Slide the newspaper half way under a closed door and ask the two people
to stand on the bit of newspaper on their side of the door.

2A. There are twelve (not four).

3A. Actually, the ladder will rise with the ship!

4A. Dimes are smaller than nickels, so choose the dimes!

5A. If they put them all together, there will be one pile.

6A. Horse racing.

7A. The President.

8A. Just once.  Then you'd be subtracting 2 from the numeral 7, then 2 from
the numeral 5, and so forth.

9A. You will have two apples.

10A. Throw the ball straight up.

11A. Hold the egg more than three feet above the ground when you drop it.

12A. Suicide

13A. Sleeplessness



 =======================================================================
 ARCHIVES OF PAST ISSUES: http://www.NicksHumor.net/archive
 =======================================================================
 Thanks for telling your friends about this humor list.
 Send G-Rated submissions to: submit@NicksHumor.net
=======================================================================
TO SUBSCRIBE:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: subscribe
 Do not type any other words.
=======================================================================
TO UNSUBSCRIBE:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: unsubscribe
 Do not type any other words.
=======================================================================
TO SWITCH TO DIGEST VERSION OF LIST:
 Send an e-mail message to: request@NicksHumor.net
 In the body of the message (no subject required) type: set digest
 Do not type any other words.
 You will receive 1 message per week with all jokes from previous week.
=======================================================================
 To report trouble with list send to: help@NicksHumor.net
=======================================================================
                      humor                            1.94.3+
=======================================================================