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humor: jun 21 -- REBUS LIST 02



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                              Nick's G-Rated Humor List
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A rebus is a representation of words
in the form of pictures or symbols,
often presented as a puzzle.

For example.....

     HEAD   SHOULDERS
  LEGS    ARMS    TORSO
    TOES  FEET  ANKLES

... represents the phrase
"Head and shoulders above the rest.".

So if you are in the mood, try these.
 [ a fixed-width font might help ]


1. tHE sAnD

2. twink   twink   twink   twink

3. T42

4. ONCE   ONCE   ONCE   ONCE

5. Ci ii

6. IMAG  ATION

7. yppah  yppah  yppah  yppah  yppah

8. CON  TRACT

9. wafibit

10. ISOCKT


_________________________________________________________

              BUMPER STICKER SNICKERS

IBM: Inferior But Marketable

For a real sponge cake - borrow all the ingredients

Got kleptomania? Take something for it!

I'm in shape...round's a shape, isn't it?


_______________________________________________________________

From: Gretchen Patti <gretchen@adichi.com>

Y2KINDERGARTEN: A retired schoolteacher in Echallens,
Switzerland, has been ordered to attend elementary school.
The unnamed 105-year-old man was included in a roundup of
5-year-olds identified by the town's computerized census
of residents because his birth year was recorded using only
two digits. "We have changed the computer program in question,"
the town hall secretary said. (AP)
_______________________________________________________________


1. Head in the sand.

2. Forty winks
   (Four T-winks)

3. Tea for two

4. Just for once

5. See eye to eye

6. Lacking in imagination

7. Many happy returns

8. Breach of contract

9. lie in wait

10. put a sock in it

____________________________________________
A subscriber responds to the following
two-line which I sent out in June:

   >  I think animal testing is a terrible idea;
   >  they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

[Here's] a true story. Alex the Grey is a parrot that is in a study program
at the University of Arizona. He has been taught and studied for over 20
years by Prof. Irene Pepperberg. He is rated at having intelligence similar
to chimpanzees and dolphins. <WingNut@Cages.org>

He can name a large number of objects, recognize shape, material, color and
size. He can answer questions such as "which is bigger", "which one is a
different color", etc., including ones where the correct answer is "none".

Dr. Pepperberg gives him a score of 85% correct answers, but she's not sure
if he really doesn't know the correct answer 15% of the time. His tests
usually consist of answering questions about a selection of objects on a
tray in front of him. On one occasion, he was shown a tray and asked a
question where the correct answer would have been to pick up one of the
objects. He picked up a wrong object. It was taken away and the question
repeated. He picked up another wrong object. This continued until the only
item left was the correct one. He then picked up the tray and threw it on
the floor.

Yes, some of our pets are quite capable of trying to deceive us.

			Thanks, <bdigior@xxxxx>
			for sending this to Nick!

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                      humor                            1.94.3+
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