humor: jun 22 -- Three out of Four

[Nick Brown <nbrown@polymail.cpunix.calpoly.edu>]

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3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order
with singles leading up to higher denominations.


"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is
suffering from some form of mental illness.  Think of your three best
friends.  If they are okay, then it's you."  --Rita Mae Brown

"USA Today has come out with a new survey:
Apparently three out of four people make
up 75 percent of the population."  --David Letterman


3/4   3/4   3/4   3/4   3/4   3/4   3/4   3/4   3/4   3/4   3/4   3/4


Flappity, floppity, flip,
The mouse on the mobius strip;
   The strip revolved,
   The mouse dissolved
In a chronodimensional skip.

According to the latest official figures,
43% of all statistics are totally worthless.

Cole's Law:  Thinly sliced cabbage.

There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.
--Heisenberg

The man who smiles when things go wrong has
thought of someone he can blame it on.  --Jones' Law

Experience enables you to recognise
a mistake when you make it again.
--F P Jones

For most men life is a search for the proper manilla envelope
in which to get themselves filed.  --Clifton Fadiman

A conference is a gathering of important people
who singly can do nothing but together can decide
that nothing can be done.  --Fred Allen

Designed with your mind in mind by people who have
in mind what you should have in mind.

RUDIN'S LAW:  In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among
alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst
one possible.

UNNAMED LAW:  If it happens, it must be possible.

THE ULTIMATE PRINCIPLE:  By definition, when you are investigating
the unknown -- you do not know what you will find.

Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do
doesn't mean it's useless.  --T. Edison

Egotism is the drug that soothes the pain of stupidity.

What is a tizzy and how do you get into one?

Why isn't palindrome spelled the same backwards and forwards?

"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in?  I think
that's how dogs spend their lives."  --Sue Murphy

After all is said and done, sit down.  --Bill Copeland

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us,
we'd all be millionaires.  --Abigail Van Buren



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