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Joke: Signs of the Times



SIGN SEEN IN THE WINDOW OF A TRAVEL AGENCY:
"Please go away."


SIGN SEEN IN THE WINDOW OF A HEALTH FOOD STORE:
"Closed due to illness."


SIGN IN THE WAITING ROOM OF A VETERINARIAN:
"Be back in five minutes. Sit. Stay."


SIGN SEEN ON A SECRETARY'S DESK #1:
"If you'll just state your business and go
away quietly, no one will get hurt."


SIGN SEEN ON A SECRETARY'S DESK #2:
"Lack of planning on your part does not
constitute an emergency on my part."



=======================================================
Very early one morning two birds are sitting at the
side of a large puddle of oil. They see a worm on the
other side. So...one bird flies over the puddle of oil
and the other bird swims through it.

Which one  gets to the worm first? The one who swam,
because we all know "da oily boid gets da woim."
=======================================================

> He's dead, Jim... you grab his
> tricorder, I'll get his wallet.