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Joke: BYU Talent
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Cordant Technologies
Human Resources person asked the young Engineer fresh out
of BYU, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The young Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $100,000 a
year, depending on the benefit package of course."
The Human Resources person replied, "Well, what would you
say to a package of 5 weeks of vacation, 14 paid holidays, full
medical and dental, a company car leased every 2 years, say,
a red Corvette?"
The BYU grad sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"
The Human Resources person said, "Certainly, but you started it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was about a month ago when a man in Amsterdam
felt that he needed to confess, so went to his priest:
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII
I hid a refuge in my attic."
"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."
"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Gulden for every
week he stayed."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."
"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have
one more question..."
"What is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Michigan man, apparently dissatisfied with the amount of
beans in his burritos, is behind bars for allegedly
brandishing a 9 millimeter gun at the Baldwin Township Taco
Bell. No shots were fired, and no one was hurt...
... Sadly the Chihuahua survived...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE DREADED AMISH FLU
First you get a little hoarse.
Then you get a little buggy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three BYU co-eds are at the doctor for a memory test. The
doctor says to the first co-ed, "What is three times three?"
"274" was her reply.
The doctor says to the second co-ed, "It's your turn.
What is three times three?"
"Tuesday", replies the second co-ed.
The doctor shakes his head and says to the third co-ed,
"Okay, it's your turn. What's three times three"?
"Nine", says the third co-ed.
"That's great!" says the doctor.
"How did you get that"?
"Simple," she says.
"I subtracted 274 from Tuesday..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A youg lady, recently graduated from BYU, goes for a job interview.
The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your
age, please?"
The recent BYU grad counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute
before replying "Ehhhh... 22!"
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the
ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her
handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape
to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces
"Five foot two!"
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real
basics; something the interviewee won't have to count, measure, or
lookup. "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?"
The BYU grad bobs her head from side to side for about ten
seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying
"Mandy!"
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks
"What were you doing when I asked you your name?"
"Ohhhh, that!" she replies," I was just running through
that song, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....' ".