Joke: Engineers

[Eric Thelin <eric@generation-i.com>]

Comprehending Engineers, --Take One
***********************************
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.  The engineer fumed, "What's with
these guys?  We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such
ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word
with him."
[dramatic pause]
"Hi George.  Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather
slow, aren't they?"  The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a
group of blind firefighters.  They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free
anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad.  I think I will say a special prayer
for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea.  And I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

Comprehending Engineers-Take Two
*************************************
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all
things mechanical.  After serving his company loyally for over 30
years, he happily retired.  Several years later the company contacted
him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one
of their multi-million dollar machines.
They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work
but to no avail.  In desperation, they called on the retired engineer
who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge.  He spent a day studying
the huge machine.  At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in
chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, "This is
where your problem is".
The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.
The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his
service.
They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded briefly:
One chalk mark                              $1
Knowing where to put it         $49,999
It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.

Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
***********************************
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons,
Civil Engineers build targets.

Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
***********************************
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?"

Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
***********************************
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body.  One said, "It was a mechanical
engineer.  Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a
toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

Comprehending Engineers-Take Six
***********************************
"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features yet."
---- S. Adams, The Dilbert Principle

Comprehending Engineers-Take Seven
***********************************
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the
passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah.  If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each
assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to
the lab and get some work done."